So, I was updating my status on Facebook yesterday when I saw that my homegirl Crystal Marie Grant posted a link to an article entitled "8 Reasons To Date A White Man" (I suggest reading this before you continue). At first, I just laughed at the title because I always here black women say, "I'm going to date a white man because niggas ain't shit!" Once I actually opened the linked and read the article, I saw that it really just spoke to the problem between black men and black women (a perpetuation of the cycle if you will). We as humans (not just black folks) are so quick to evaluate the short commings of others, that we rarely self-evaluate. Now, that may be redundant, but I will attempt to rectify once I get going with this post.
I read this article a few times before I got angry. Now, I don't have a problem with any of the points that she made in her article. I do, however, have a problem with the generalizations that she made with each point. I won't go through each of the points she made because I linked the article, but at no time did she say "some" or "a lot of" black men fit this criteria. Each statement started off with "Black Men." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I am a black man, right? You know what! I will go through each point! I feel like I have to exonerate myself from the box that she placed on THIS black man. Alright, here we go:
1. They Open Wide Instead of Down Low
I can open wide right now and tell you that I'm a healthy heterosexual male, and I love women. The best creation that the Lord has ever touched was a black woman (in my opinion) and nothing on this earth is comparable.
2. Not Looking For Someone To Take Car of Them
Every man in my family is a work-a-holic and provider. Me ask a woman to take care of me? Won't happen! I would honestly rather be on the street begging for change! Well that's a little extreme but you get my drift.
3. Attend and Graduate College
For real though? If you went to an HBCU, you've seen plenty of black men that have graduated from college. Well, if you haven't, I'll be done with my Masters next summer, and working on my Ph.D next fall. How's that for an education.
4. At Least Attempt To Marry Before Making Babies
Unless you count all of these god-kids as mine, I don't have any babies and I won't have any until I get married.
5. They Don't Glamorize Ignorance
I don't even go around my old neighborhood often because the attitudes aren't progressive. I know I'm not a "thug" and I've never tried to portray myself as such. And I know every lyric to every hip-hop song ever created (no really I do).
6. Financial Planning and Stability
Ask AXA about my financial planning. Ask DCTFCU about my stability. I moved back in with my parents so that I could have 20% of a down payment and not the lowly 3.5% that FHA requires (Oh yeah, check out the new regulations coming to FHA this October).
7. Have The Ability To Look beyond Your Past
This just sounds like something a promiscuous woman writes to be accepted after whoring around in a city, then decides that she wants to be taken serious. I won't even entertain this one.
8. Don't Take Everything As A Challenge To Their Masculinity
I don't think you can write #2 and then write this one. They conflict. I do take certain things as a challenge to my masculinity. If you're going to accept one gender role then accept them all! I feel like that's a pride thing though. Some women (not all) feel that they have to aggressively assert themselves to make a point that a mans presence isn't needed. That's fine, but most times that will assure you that you don't need a man.
I guess 7/8 isn't bad.
4 comments:
hey.... you're awesome! Thanks for this blog post! The world always needs to hear from a good Black dude!
Not bad at all...
That was a most interesting article. The author clearly has only observed or dealt with white men of a certain caliber. Personally having dated, married and subsequently divorced a white man I can see how all of her positive points applied to HIM. Now since that experience I have had the pleasure of dating black men who would very nicely fit the more pleasing attributes she ascribes only to white men. People are people and you can find dogs and princes in every race. Love who you love but how can you put down an entire race of men. I only hope she has no sons. How would she explain to them her low opinion of them based on their race and sex...sad.
u already know how I feel about this nonsense see ( http://cerebral-gumbo.blogspot.com/2010/07/slow-it-downpt-1.html ) my shameless plug. But clearly she is a woman scorned who obviously has strong issues with self hate and needs to reevaluate her existence...she has clearly been brainwashed by the colonizers so deeply that she cant even recognized her own and her people's worth if it stared her in the face. why be with ole buck who understands your struggles, cares for your children, clean your whip wounds and protects you in the quarters when you can be in the big house cooking up massa's food and being his dessert...FOOLERY!
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