I awoke Sunday morning to a dreary day filled with light rain. In a few hours, my mood was just like that day.
Coach Simms came to the hotel and picked me and my parents up right after we checked out. We were taken over to the football offices to have the final meeting with the head coach before we were on our way. When I got in the car, I noticed that coach Simms had a disturbed look on his face. I didn't think much about it at the time, but as I sit here and reminisce, it was so prevelant. As we made the trip to the office he asked me how bad my shoulder injury was. I told him the same thing I told the doctors. He had no response. The rest of the ride was in total silence.
As we arrived at the office, coach Simms led us up to coach Walt Harris' personal office. The door was closed and we sat across the hall waiting for coach Harris to finish his meeting with another recruit. When the door opened, I saw a recruit coming out with a big smile on his face like he had made his choice also. Me and my parents walked in the room and sat down. Thinking that this meeting was just a formality, I sat down with the biggest kool-aid smile in anticipation of telling coach Harris that I had made my decision. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. After giving me and my parents a greeting, the first words he uttered were,"Your shoulder injury scares us." I went deaf after those words. I knew what was coming next. All I can remember about the meeting was looking at my mother and the hurt mixed with disappointment on her face. She knew I wanted this. And in the manner that it was snatched from my grasp was heartbreaking, for not just myself, but for her as well.
I walked out of that meeting in disbelief. I couldn't understand how in less than 24 hours my joy and excitement could turn to heartache and pain. Other than the blank stare that I had I didn't show any emotion. Like I said before I'm not a crier, but Lord knows I wanted to. I think I needed to. This moment in my past I have never fully gotten over. I can't say that I would change the experiences that I had, but I would have loved to see what would've happened if I would've become a Pittsburgh Panther.
Before we left to go home, the University provided us with breakfast. Now, I don't usually pass on a meal, but I was so sick with what transpired in that meeting that I couldn't eat. I watched as other recruits enjoyed their meals with smiling faces and thought to myself,"I must be a glutton for punishment." It was at that moment that I felt like nothing would ever go right in my life. I had experienced so much disappointment in my life, and I thought this was supposed to be my moment to have that rectified. At the time I felt like God was using my life as a comedy sketch.
With all the commotion, we had forgotten that it was my dad's birthday. So with the exception of me saying Happy Birthday, we drove home in complete silence. I know my father wanted to say something to make me feel better but there was nothing that would've fixed that moment. No kind words. No scripture. It would've went in one ear and out the other. I wouldn't wish that type of hurt on anyone.
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