Every morning I get up between 5 and 5:30 to prepare myself for work. The pinnacle of that preparation has to be my drive to work. Like a lot of others, my commute is consumed with talk radio. I'm sure, if you drive, you too have your favorite station to listen to , but mine is the "Russ Parr Morning Show." If you listen to 93.9 in the morning like I , then you know that for the past few weeks talk of the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation has monopolized the show. Now, I'm just as tired of hearing about this situation as most of you are , but there was one day in particular that made me reach into "My Thoughts."
Today, every parent has a different way of instilling discipline into their children. Some try beatings, others go with 'time-out,' and a few try to negotiate with their children. No matter which way you choose, someone is going to call your method totally wrong and unreasonable (hell I say go with what's working). But whatever your method, it has to have some type of impact or it's ineffectiveness can affect the lives other people.
Now, back to the show. One day Alfredas, one of the co-hosts of the show, said that she didn't beat her kids. Not really something that surprised me, because a few parents have adopted that method now-a-days (which is why the crime rate has gone up lol jk). The statement that she made that caused me to start writing was, "I think it teaches them to hit." Now, before I give my opinion, I have to say that everyone has their own view. It is wrong for me to step on someone's views because I don't necessarily share them. Now that I have that disclaimer out of the way, I must tell you that I shouted for Alfredas to kill herself. Some of the most violent people in the world were not subjected to physical discipline. So where did they learn to hit? I just feel that if you tell your children why they are being disciplined in this manner, (if this is the method that you choose) then they will understand that you aren't just beating on them.
I figure that a few of you that read this blog have children. And if you don't, you're probably planning on having them in the future. So please leave me a comment on your discipline strategies. I'm going to just tell you now, I'mma beat my damn kids. You might not agree with this but hey, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time."
6 comments:
I personally do believe in physical discipline, therefore I do so with the child in my care as necessary. When I got out of line as a child, my mother spanked my ass. Not enough to damage me but enough to get my attention, followed up by punishment. No child is perfect, but I agree that you should actually explain the reason for the physical discipline. I think there are way to many parents out here more concerned with being a friend to their child versus a parent. Don't get me wrong-- your child needs to know they have a friend IN their parent. But Parents should be PARENTS FIRST. Plus, often this backfires on a parent, being too much of a friend. You have seen the kid in the grocery store, reaching and grabbing at everything, and breaking sh*t, hitting their parents (sorry, from my experience, most of these kids and parents are white-- just my experience people) and saying all kinds of crazy stuff. I just don't think one without the other produces the desired result. Balance between the two is most necessary. Just my opinion...
Oh, my kids will know who's boss...by any means necessary! I love my mom to death, and we are suuuuper close, but when I was younger she definately would walk around the house with a belt around her neck, as if to say, I dare you to do something stupid. It only took me one, maybe two times to get the picture. But, with every time my mom explained why I had gotten my ass whooped, and why my behavior was unacceptable. Kids learn how to respect authority, rules, etc at home first...they'll remember a slap upside the head more vividly than a minute in time out....i'm just saying.
i am from the south, and not too many people i grew up with avoided being whipped with switches, belts, shoes, brushes, whatever. personally i'm going to carry on the tradition. it made me respect rules, showed me right from wrong and i learned to respect authority (a problem that many of our kids have these days)...spare the rod, ruin the world...
o...da kiddies will get da beat dwn...real talk...it worked for me, so y not..now if i c that's not working then ill obviously have to make some changes, but who knows. mayb ill get lucky and have the perfect lil boy :)...lol...
i think the whole of parenting needs to be considered in discussions like this. i was whipped and switched often as a child, and as other commentors have said, my mother always explained to me why I was being whipped. she also explained BEFOREHAND why i couldn't do something. she explained rules to me. she didn't say "because i said so." i think parents who use the whole "because i said so," "because i say no," etc. raise intellectually lazy kids. by telling me why i could not do something and what the consequences would be, i learned to weigh options and make intelligent decisions based on my analysis- because i was aware, i also had to take real responsibility for my decisions. sometimes i decided that fucking somebody up was worth getting beat, but the point is that i learned to think through decisions. when my mother wasn't around to tell me no, i was still capable of considering options and vantage points before making a decision. so i think it's important for explanations as rules are laid out and after the beatings.
I am torn on the issue because I feel that it does perpetuate a lot of anger. I felt many of my beatings were out of anger...and that it was too intense. I think I am going to use a combonation approach...but my goal is to minimize the physical. I am down for grabbing kids at the neck, jumping at them like your a super thug, open chest (when they are to big to beat), and pinching. I remember every single time my grandmother pinched me in church...that joint burned for a min!
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