You can learn alot about a person through their facebook statuses. I may throw a snippet on there about my life, nothing too serious, but I mainly keep it hip hop. Some people tell exactly what they're doing at the time. Some people use it as a forum to voice they're frustration. Whatever the particular use, it gives some insight to where a person is in their life at the present moment. (Didn't think it was that deep huh?) But this morning, one certain post has me reaching into "My Thoughts."
Throughout your life, I'm sure you've heard different sayings that have stuck with you. And I'm sure that the cliche's, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "Out of sight, out of mind" are two that you probably remember. I mean, they are directly related, in a opposing view. So to get to the point, the question was asked, "Which of these hold true? Absence makes the heart grow fonder OR out of sight, out of mind???? I wonder..... What do U think?" (This is directly quoted from her status on facebook)
Before I ask you to comment let me give my opinion. (I promise not to drag it out like I do every other post lol)
I look at both these sayings and the first thing that comes to mind is the picture of a relationship. I see the beginning of that relationship while everything is so fresh and new and I think of the first saying. Then after everything starts to sour, and you all can't really stand being around each other, I think of the latter saying. Now, of course it's not that black and white, it has an area that's shaded grey. (yes I took it from T.I. but it fits) So in the interest of finding this grey area, I'm going to open this up for discussion. Yes, this means that you must comment on this post. And you know what? I'm sick of asking you niggas (yes the "n" word has ressurected) to comment. Imma have to stop asking you to kill yourself and start going around and doing it for you. Naw for real though please comment. "My Thoughts" mean absolutely nothing without your perspective. But whatever your perspective, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time"
Shot out to Ebony Coley for allowing me to use her facebook status. I appreciate, Thank you.
8 comments:
depends on how deep the feelings are at that point. for instance, if someone isn't sure they want to be with you, i don't think you being absent is about to make them realize they're in love. i don't think absence can make the heart grow fonder or create feelings that weren't already there. absence can intensify already present feelings, but if it's not there, it's not there.
Well I don't believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder nor do I believe out of sight of mind. When I asked the question I was thinking something a little different as examples of the two. I do feel there is a grey area however I'm leaning toward out of sight out of mind. There are some many tempations in this world and if u don't take time to appreciate and nuture who u have...is that really where u want to be? Absence in the form of work or hobbies, time for self yes. How much playtime or partytime is too much? When does it start to interfere with family time? Everybody NEEDS me time right?
I think it depends on who is being absent and if you need to be separated from them or not. If you care about the person and have feelings on some level, be it just friends or a little more, then absence can make the heart grow fonder. Or the absence can make you realize that you do have feelings for this person that had they stayed around you may have never had. On the other hand, sometimes absence is good. If it's a person that just doesnt have your best interest at heart but you have a bond with then it needs to be out of sight out of mind. As hard as it may be, and I def know. I've recently had both situations. But absence made my heart grow sooooo much fonder, and unfortunately it turned into out of sight out of mind, kinda..lol...but yea, it really just depends on the situation, the people, and the type of relationship.
i think it depends on the individual and the relationship ive been in a situation where being away from someone only made me want him more and that spoke to the connection i felt with him but at the same time ive also experienced the out of sight out of mind conundrum so to sum it up i think that there is not blanket truth but rather that shade of grey you and TI spoke of...
Ok so I've always read these posts but never responded but this actual topic is hitting too close to home. So I have more of a question than a comment but more so a question that I feel i need a male perspective on. You stated in your thoughts that you felt that in the beginning of a relationship absence makes the hear grow fonder and when things end sourly then out of sight out of mind kicks in. But what if there was no real relationship but a start of something promising? Does absences really make the heart grow fonder or is it out of sight out of mind. My feelings toward this particular question are basically out of sight out of mind. If absence made the heart grow fonder then that means that you would at least keep some type of contact with the person right?? So when there is no contact kept doesnt that mean that the person is no longer a thought?
Jarret, allow me to intercept this one please? I'm going to keep it one hundred with you. Sometimes there is a middle ground. A guy might be feeling you and your absence may be making his heart grow fond, but when you're aight of sight you're out of mind. Not completely though. It really depends on where you guys are in your development. Thanks Jarret...I appreciate it
First of all jackass my name is spelled Jarrett...and second, I believe she directed that question to me. Start your own blog and keep it one hundred there. lol
Naw I'm just playin though. While I partly agree with your response, I can't totally take your stance. I will agree that it all depends where you guys are; and since you said it was the "beginning" maybe you weren't in it long enough for his heart to grow fond of your absence. It doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't on his mind though. Maybe just not as much as he's on yours. That's not a bad thing. Just let things progress how they will. You'll eventually see if you're out of sight, out of mind.
Aye and yall stop posting comments anonymously.(I guess I can't complain causs you did comment)I just would like to know who I'm talking to...
Oh bro what a cute topic. I personally always think back to my old boos and think..."Wow I wonder how they are...we did have something semi good" Then I hear their voice and speak to them...and the ignorance that turned me off the first time comes rushing back into my veins causing me to kick myself on even calling them in the first place!
If its with the right person...it can make the moments together more important and cherished. Each one living their own life and coming together on common grounds for pleasure(not all sexual). An overload of someone can drive anyones nerves haywire!
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