I must say that today was significantly tougher than the first 3 days. I may have just been the overall day in general, but everything just went wrong yesterday.
I started the day by waking up early than usual to take the flush. This actually worked against me, because it caused me to spend a good portion of the time I used to get ready, on the toilet (sorry if that was TMI). I ended up leaving the house 25 mins. later than normal. Then to add insult to injury, I had to turn around and go back to my house because I left my teams game jersey's in the basement.
This caused me to get to work about 15 mins. late. Once I get to work, I running around non-stop. I had classes in the morning. I did have one planning period, but part of that was spent disciplining a class for their poor behavior. After all that, I chose to aid one of my office mates in doing recess duty, because the people who had duty decided not to show. I digress.
With all of this running around, I had neglected to do the single most important thing in my life right now...drink the lemonade!!! I decided to participate in the planned activity with my first afternoon class, which involved a whole lot of running. Once the activity was over, I realized that I was totally stripped of energy because I hadn't drank the lemonade (How could I forget that?). I wanted to run and get it in between classes, but the amount of time alloted wouldn't allow that. So, basically I was a zombie to my last class. I was trying to articulate the objective, and it just wouldn't come out clearly. I felt so bad because I really did them a disservice yesterday. Not to mention that I locked my knees while I was standing up talking, and I almost went down.
My commute home was pretty bad. I was so sleepy on the road (undoubtedly because my blood sugar was low) that I contemplated getting off the beltway and going to a friends house to lay down. I toughed out the trip though.
When I finally made it home, I realized how much of a jerk my mother is (don't tell I said that lol). I walked into the smell of spaghetti as I entered the house. My mother knows how much I love spaghetti, and I don't believe that she would allow the devil to use her like that. So, I went straight to my room and decided to try and get some sleep. I'm rarely able to reach this feat and yesterday was no exception.
My sister was probably the biggest jerk of them all yesterday. Not only did she try to send me to the store (back past the lovely smell of complex carbs), but she also told me that she ordered a pizza from Pizza Hut that didn't have any pork on it (I don't eat pork). What an asshole!
This had me really craving food. I wanted to give in so bad yesterday. I honestly contemplated eating a slice of pizza. At this point, all I could do was laugh. Laugh at the opposition that something like this entails. I can't give in though. I honestly would rather die than to give you (you in the most general sense) the satisfaction of saying I failed. This is the biggest thing that motivates me. I know this may be a bit prideful, but I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if I were to give in. So, I guess I would be better off dead.
You all know that I live my life through hip-hop lyrics, and this one came to mind yesterday: "I'm feeling like the world's against me Lord! Call me crazy, but strangely I love the odds..." I'm Just Sayin'...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
MC: Day 3
Sooooo...it's Day 3. Today I've chosen to adopt another cliche philosophy, "one day at a time." If I think about the fact that I have 7 1/2 more days left, it seems insurmountable. So, I just try and focus on making it through the day and not even worrying about tomorrow.
Yesterday, I had to go and stock up on distilled water for the duration of the cleanse. Since I was so tired when I got home, I decided to go in the house and leave the water in the trunk. When I woke up this morning, I put on minimal clothes and ran to the car to get the water. With the dropping overnight temperatures, my water was all but frozen solid. To my surprise, this actually helped with the taste of the flush. Oh, it was bad...but it wasn't as bad. I would've been able to take it down in one gulp, but the water was so cold that I got a "brain freeze."
The school day was a little challenging today. I had my first class first thing in the morning, but I didn't have another until 1:25. That's right, idle time. Now, I was completing a couple of tasks that I needed to turn in during that idle time, but typing on a computer and actually being active and showing kids how to perform activities are two different things. So, during this idle time all i could think about was what I wanted to eat once I was off this diet. Maybe not the best mindset to have, but what do you expect from a man that hasn't had a carb in 4 days???
After school was probably the best time of the day. My boys had basketball practice and I was so focused on getting them prepared for the game tomorrow, that I had few opportunities to think about food. I can see that my intensity to was a little heightened also. I was really yelling, but I was really passionate about everything that I was trying to instill in them.
Once basketball practice was over I was hurt. I expended so much energy during practice that I was drained. This was probably the worse part of the day for me. It continued all the way until I made it home. As soon as I waslked in the house I smelled food cooking. I don't even know what was cooking. I just strolled to my room and closed the door. The hunger lasted until I was blessed enough to drift off into "la la land."
I pray Day 4 goes a little smoother, but we shall see...I'm Just Sayin'
Yesterday, I had to go and stock up on distilled water for the duration of the cleanse. Since I was so tired when I got home, I decided to go in the house and leave the water in the trunk. When I woke up this morning, I put on minimal clothes and ran to the car to get the water. With the dropping overnight temperatures, my water was all but frozen solid. To my surprise, this actually helped with the taste of the flush. Oh, it was bad...but it wasn't as bad. I would've been able to take it down in one gulp, but the water was so cold that I got a "brain freeze."
The school day was a little challenging today. I had my first class first thing in the morning, but I didn't have another until 1:25. That's right, idle time. Now, I was completing a couple of tasks that I needed to turn in during that idle time, but typing on a computer and actually being active and showing kids how to perform activities are two different things. So, during this idle time all i could think about was what I wanted to eat once I was off this diet. Maybe not the best mindset to have, but what do you expect from a man that hasn't had a carb in 4 days???
After school was probably the best time of the day. My boys had basketball practice and I was so focused on getting them prepared for the game tomorrow, that I had few opportunities to think about food. I can see that my intensity to was a little heightened also. I was really yelling, but I was really passionate about everything that I was trying to instill in them.
Once basketball practice was over I was hurt. I expended so much energy during practice that I was drained. This was probably the worse part of the day for me. It continued all the way until I made it home. As soon as I waslked in the house I smelled food cooking. I don't even know what was cooking. I just strolled to my room and closed the door. The hunger lasted until I was blessed enough to drift off into "la la land."
I pray Day 4 goes a little smoother, but we shall see...I'm Just Sayin'
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
MC: Day 2
The cliche, "mind over matter" comes to mind when I think about how I faired in Day 2. Like I said before, I'm doing this cleanse for mental toughness above anything else.
The urge to eat something has been a lot stronger today, than it was yesterday.
Yesterday, I talked about the "flush" that I had to endure first thing in the morning...yeah, today was worse! It's so hard to keep the salt water down, that I have to hold my head up to stop from spewing it all over the floor. It's that bad!
After the first day, I realized that I was doing something wrong with the mixture. I decided to use less cayenne pepper and a little less pure maple syrup. This helped a little with the taste, but the cayenne pepper was still too much. It's so strong, that it starts to make my throat itch by just holding it up to my mouth.
As far as my behavior throughout the day, I found myself zoning out. I specifically remember talking to 3rd grade class at the end of the day about teamwork, and just totally losing my train of thought. This scared me a little bit, because I can only attribute it to the lack of food. Whenever I get weak like that though, I just pray (Thanks Yzette...I'm sorry! Thanks Dr. Lanier). I know some of you are saying, "You pray???" Yes...I pray! lol
When I got home last night, I had no other alternative but to get right in the bed. I tried to watch a little bit of the game, but the commercials of foods just really make it hard for me. I think I may need to fast from the television and internet also.
All in all, Day 2 was pretty good. I had my moments of wanting to give in, which everyone will have when taking on a task of this magnitude, but I keep telling myself that I can't if I can do this, I can do ANYTHING! I'm all over it! I'm Just Saying...
The urge to eat something has been a lot stronger today, than it was yesterday.
Yesterday, I talked about the "flush" that I had to endure first thing in the morning...yeah, today was worse! It's so hard to keep the salt water down, that I have to hold my head up to stop from spewing it all over the floor. It's that bad!
After the first day, I realized that I was doing something wrong with the mixture. I decided to use less cayenne pepper and a little less pure maple syrup. This helped a little with the taste, but the cayenne pepper was still too much. It's so strong, that it starts to make my throat itch by just holding it up to my mouth.
As far as my behavior throughout the day, I found myself zoning out. I specifically remember talking to 3rd grade class at the end of the day about teamwork, and just totally losing my train of thought. This scared me a little bit, because I can only attribute it to the lack of food. Whenever I get weak like that though, I just pray (Thanks Yzette...I'm sorry! Thanks Dr. Lanier). I know some of you are saying, "You pray???" Yes...I pray! lol
When I got home last night, I had no other alternative but to get right in the bed. I tried to watch a little bit of the game, but the commercials of foods just really make it hard for me. I think I may need to fast from the television and internet also.
All in all, Day 2 was pretty good. I had my moments of wanting to give in, which everyone will have when taking on a task of this magnitude, but I keep telling myself that I can't if I can do this, I can do ANYTHING! I'm all over it! I'm Just Saying...
Monday, January 3, 2011
MC: Day 1
Although technically I have yet to complete my first full day, I figured I would still detail what the Master Cleanse had in store for me today.
This morning I woke up very nervous about what was about to happen to me. I have never tried anything of this magnitude, but I'm not one to back down from a challenge.
I got up around 5:30, and I walked around gathering everything that I would need for the day. I started with the sea salt water flush, that you have to take every morning before you do anything. So I mixed 1 tablespoon of sea salt in with one liter of distilled water and tried to throw it back as fast as I could. Now, I say this as vehemently as I can, this was the worse tasting drink I've ever experienced. I was so naseous after I drank it that I kind of thought that I may not be able to do this portion of the cleanse. I have to be by the book though.
The problem with this "flush" is that I didn't realize it worked so...well. I got in the car to go to work and I was "clinched" until I made it to my job's secret bathroom that I've located (lol). I won't get into the details of that visit, but let's just say that all that went in, came right back out.
As far as how I felt the whole day, I definitely wanted something to eat by lunch time. I was light headed for most of the day, but it would subside once I was engrossed in classes.
Dealing with the kids was a huge issue. I was so short with misbehavior that it actually worked well. I really didn't do much hollering, because I believe a headache may have ensued, but I addressed every issue sternly.
The biggest hurdle was when I went over to my boy Twan's parents house. On my way I felt the urge to stop and eat something. Each time I felt that urge I would take a sip of my concoction. Once I arrived at the house I was offerd a number of things that were hard to say no to. First it was turtle. This wasn't that bad, but I love turtles. I was just able to resist that urge. Then I was staring deep into the eyes of a pan of corn pudding, but the smell of the chitterlings (shitlin's) that Twan was cooking turned my stomach. Finally, Twan's dad decided to order some steak and cheeses for he and his grand sons...that's when i had to make my exit.
Once I got home it was more of the same. Everything smelled so good. I just went to my room and closed the door, but obviously my family can never leave me be.
I dozed off a couple of times to ease my pain, but I'm so popular that I kept waking because of angry phone calls and nasty (nasty as in mean...get your minds out of the gutter lol) text messages *exaggerating*.
All in all i think the first day went well. I'm determined to finish what I started, so i think that helps alot with the cravings, but this is extremely trying. Oh well, I am an extremist! I'm Just Sayin'...
This morning I woke up very nervous about what was about to happen to me. I have never tried anything of this magnitude, but I'm not one to back down from a challenge.
I got up around 5:30, and I walked around gathering everything that I would need for the day. I started with the sea salt water flush, that you have to take every morning before you do anything. So I mixed 1 tablespoon of sea salt in with one liter of distilled water and tried to throw it back as fast as I could. Now, I say this as vehemently as I can, this was the worse tasting drink I've ever experienced. I was so naseous after I drank it that I kind of thought that I may not be able to do this portion of the cleanse. I have to be by the book though.
The problem with this "flush" is that I didn't realize it worked so...well. I got in the car to go to work and I was "clinched" until I made it to my job's secret bathroom that I've located (lol). I won't get into the details of that visit, but let's just say that all that went in, came right back out.
As far as how I felt the whole day, I definitely wanted something to eat by lunch time. I was light headed for most of the day, but it would subside once I was engrossed in classes.
Dealing with the kids was a huge issue. I was so short with misbehavior that it actually worked well. I really didn't do much hollering, because I believe a headache may have ensued, but I addressed every issue sternly.
The biggest hurdle was when I went over to my boy Twan's parents house. On my way I felt the urge to stop and eat something. Each time I felt that urge I would take a sip of my concoction. Once I arrived at the house I was offerd a number of things that were hard to say no to. First it was turtle. This wasn't that bad, but I love turtles. I was just able to resist that urge. Then I was staring deep into the eyes of a pan of corn pudding, but the smell of the chitterlings (shitlin's) that Twan was cooking turned my stomach. Finally, Twan's dad decided to order some steak and cheeses for he and his grand sons...that's when i had to make my exit.
Once I got home it was more of the same. Everything smelled so good. I just went to my room and closed the door, but obviously my family can never leave me be.
I dozed off a couple of times to ease my pain, but I'm so popular that I kept waking because of angry phone calls and nasty (nasty as in mean...get your minds out of the gutter lol) text messages *exaggerating*.
All in all i think the first day went well. I'm determined to finish what I started, so i think that helps alot with the cravings, but this is extremely trying. Oh well, I am an extremist! I'm Just Sayin'...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The Master Cleanse
I looked in the mirror the other day and realized that the body that I worked so hard to attain this past spring has dissipated. Thankfully, I know what happened and how to fix it. Due to the recklessness of my diet, that started during the weekend of Howard Homecoming, my body has made a "U-turn" from where it was this summer.
My solution: The Master Cleanse followed by 2-a-days of Insanity and P90X.
You all saw what happened when I went hard at Insanity...I plan to shatter that with P90X. I intially received this challenge from my friend Vameka Nelson, who told me that it would be rough to complete. I, not being able to back down from a challenge, decided to test out my will.
I will chronicle my progress through the cleanse so that you all can see if it works for me and decide if it is something you want to take the challenge to do. Each day I will give you a play by play of what happened, if I was able to stick with it, and how it has affected my body. If you've done this cleanse before, please share with me the affect that it had on you. Thank you!
My solution: The Master Cleanse followed by 2-a-days of Insanity and P90X.
You all saw what happened when I went hard at Insanity...I plan to shatter that with P90X. I intially received this challenge from my friend Vameka Nelson, who told me that it would be rough to complete. I, not being able to back down from a challenge, decided to test out my will.
I will chronicle my progress through the cleanse so that you all can see if it works for me and decide if it is something you want to take the challenge to do. Each day I will give you a play by play of what happened, if I was able to stick with it, and how it has affected my body. If you've done this cleanse before, please share with me the affect that it had on you. Thank you!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Love vs. Lust
Okay, Okay, Okay! So, I admit that I came across as a bit of a know-it-all in my last post. Sue me! LOL I just have strong views about love, that are strictly biblically based. I will say, I don't KNOW what love really is, but like everyone else that doesn't KNOW, I have views and opinions that have shaped my belief of the definition of love.
The last post sparked conversations between me and a number of people about what love is. But there was one conversation in particular that has me writing on my winter vacation. Shot out to Ms. Thomas for provoking this post. I appreciate your insight!
In 'At First Sight' when I spoke about love and it not being a feeling, I offered infatuation as an alternative to that feeling. One word that came up with almost everyone I talked to was lust. I intentionally left out lust because I didn't want people to think I was disrespecting whatever they felt for their significant other. If you consider that though, it brings up an interesting concept. Love and lust are confused often enough for it to be a viable argument that what you could be experiencing with someone you just met, isn't love. I would never want to piss on anyone's parade, but there is someone out there that thinks they are in love, when in actuality they are in lust. Now, I've been known to lose my mind over a big butt and a smile, but I almost always realize that this is poison. Even when I engage in conversations with a woman that are really stimulating mentally, I still know that this doesn't bring about love.
In order for you to understand my argument, you would have to understand my definition of what love is. Like I said before, I don't KNOW what love is, but I know what the Bible says and that's the only book I feel comfortable taking information from on this issue. Now, I am by no means a bible beating, fire breathing preacher. Actually, my family would probably identify me as a heathen (My sister's a jerk). I do, however, take pride in the fact that I know (for the most part) my Bible. So, 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 states:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves.
The first word that is used to define love in this passage is patient. This is really the basis of my argument. Dictionary.com's defintion of patient says,"having or showing the capacity for endurance." Endurance doesn't happen quickly. It takes time. You have to go through some stuff to endure. That is why it is my belief that any intial "feeling" that you have, can not be considered love. Love is battle tested. Whatever you feel when you first meet someone is strictly a feeling. Whether it be infatuation or lust, it can't be put into the same category with love. So, the term "Love at first sight" is oxymoronic, in a sense. If love takes endurance, how can it be felt at the moment of sight?
To speak to my over analyzation of the statement, "Love at first sight" (Thanks Crystal! lol): I do understand that some people use the statement as a means of expressing, in retrospect, the view of their significant other upon the intial interaction, but what is the basis for that statement if they hadn't made it to the point that they're at today? Maybe I am taking the statement a bit too literal, but consider the people who consistently "fall in love" quickly. They think that love is found with every partner. Would you take their claims of love serious?
I feel like I'm being a little long winded, so I'll just end with this. I consulted my mother about this issue the other day (because she's more of a know-it-all than I am lol) and her words were, "If you base love on how you FEEL about a person, or what they can or can not do for you, you miss the point of what love really is..." I'm Just Sayin' (Well actually, she's just saying lol)
The last post sparked conversations between me and a number of people about what love is. But there was one conversation in particular that has me writing on my winter vacation. Shot out to Ms. Thomas for provoking this post. I appreciate your insight!
In 'At First Sight' when I spoke about love and it not being a feeling, I offered infatuation as an alternative to that feeling. One word that came up with almost everyone I talked to was lust. I intentionally left out lust because I didn't want people to think I was disrespecting whatever they felt for their significant other. If you consider that though, it brings up an interesting concept. Love and lust are confused often enough for it to be a viable argument that what you could be experiencing with someone you just met, isn't love. I would never want to piss on anyone's parade, but there is someone out there that thinks they are in love, when in actuality they are in lust. Now, I've been known to lose my mind over a big butt and a smile, but I almost always realize that this is poison. Even when I engage in conversations with a woman that are really stimulating mentally, I still know that this doesn't bring about love.
In order for you to understand my argument, you would have to understand my definition of what love is. Like I said before, I don't KNOW what love is, but I know what the Bible says and that's the only book I feel comfortable taking information from on this issue. Now, I am by no means a bible beating, fire breathing preacher. Actually, my family would probably identify me as a heathen (My sister's a jerk). I do, however, take pride in the fact that I know (for the most part) my Bible. So, 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 states:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves.
The first word that is used to define love in this passage is patient. This is really the basis of my argument. Dictionary.com's defintion of patient says,"having or showing the capacity for endurance." Endurance doesn't happen quickly. It takes time. You have to go through some stuff to endure. That is why it is my belief that any intial "feeling" that you have, can not be considered love. Love is battle tested. Whatever you feel when you first meet someone is strictly a feeling. Whether it be infatuation or lust, it can't be put into the same category with love. So, the term "Love at first sight" is oxymoronic, in a sense. If love takes endurance, how can it be felt at the moment of sight?
To speak to my over analyzation of the statement, "Love at first sight" (Thanks Crystal! lol): I do understand that some people use the statement as a means of expressing, in retrospect, the view of their significant other upon the intial interaction, but what is the basis for that statement if they hadn't made it to the point that they're at today? Maybe I am taking the statement a bit too literal, but consider the people who consistently "fall in love" quickly. They think that love is found with every partner. Would you take their claims of love serious?
I feel like I'm being a little long winded, so I'll just end with this. I consulted my mother about this issue the other day (because she's more of a know-it-all than I am lol) and her words were, "If you base love on how you FEEL about a person, or what they can or can not do for you, you miss the point of what love really is..." I'm Just Sayin' (Well actually, she's just saying lol)
Friday, December 17, 2010
At First Sight
If you are fortunate enough to have more than one friend, then I'm pretty sure that they are not all alike. We all need an array of friends to give us different perspectives of how life is or can be. Some of these friends have different views or opinions on certain issues that you just can't accept. This post is to speak to one of those issues...
Whenever I hear someone say, "It was love at first sight...", I get pissed off. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but what can I say I'm an extremist! It's not really the thought that you can see someone and instantly fall in love that pisses me off, it's more so the misidentification of the feeling. If you're reading "I'm Just Sayin'" for the first time, then you wouldn't know that I am a lover of words. I read the dictionary for fun. I do have my slip ups, but for the most part, every word that comes out of my mouth is deliberate and well calculated. So when I hear someone use a word loosely without understanding it's true meaning, it slightly irritates me(I'm about to get deep so please bear with me).
Okay, so basically my assessment of the phrase,"Love at first sight" is that it's nonesensical. This is probably due to the fact that my definition and the definition that most people use for the term "love" isn't synonymous. I even have a problem with the dictionary.com's definition of the word "love". I don't agree that love is a "strong feeling" (I'll explain in-depth later). To understand my point consider the analogy, love is to wisdom as genius is to infatuation (repeat that as many times as needed for it to sink in). Most people confuse these terms because of how closely related they are. When you think of someone that's a genius, you often consider them wise. Now, there maybe a few of you that will say, "No I don't! I know exactly what they mean!" To those people I say, good for you. But for the the majority of people who speak the "King's English", we confuse the meaning of words all the time. It's natural.
My thoughts are, like wisdom, love only comes with age and experience. Love isn't simply a feeling that happens when you meet someone. Love requires time and is based on choices that are made. If you look at love as a "strong feeling", then it is an admission that love isn't anything special. Feelings are fleeting, and if that's the case, what separates love from like. Love has to be more complex than the definition that we have placed upon it. I think infatuation is a more appropriate term for what people are experiencing now-a-days. This may be the reason why divorce rates are so high. We are experiencing this "love" that just magically casts a spell over us and leaves us ignorant to all else in the world. I digress.
When you compare the terms genius and infatuation, it seems to fit what I am talking about. A child could come out of the womb and be termed a genius. He or she doesn't have the maturity and experience to be wise, but he or she is a genius. I can be totally smitten when I first meet a woman, but we don't have to maturity together for that infatuation to materialize into love.
I really, really want some feedback on this issue. Can you please respond and let me know what you think? I would really appreciate it. If you don't wish to, then please make the smoothest plans to take your own life. "I'm Just Sayin'..."
Whenever I hear someone say, "It was love at first sight...", I get pissed off. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but what can I say I'm an extremist! It's not really the thought that you can see someone and instantly fall in love that pisses me off, it's more so the misidentification of the feeling. If you're reading "I'm Just Sayin'" for the first time, then you wouldn't know that I am a lover of words. I read the dictionary for fun. I do have my slip ups, but for the most part, every word that comes out of my mouth is deliberate and well calculated. So when I hear someone use a word loosely without understanding it's true meaning, it slightly irritates me(I'm about to get deep so please bear with me).
Okay, so basically my assessment of the phrase,"Love at first sight" is that it's nonesensical. This is probably due to the fact that my definition and the definition that most people use for the term "love" isn't synonymous. I even have a problem with the dictionary.com's definition of the word "love". I don't agree that love is a "strong feeling" (I'll explain in-depth later). To understand my point consider the analogy, love is to wisdom as genius is to infatuation (repeat that as many times as needed for it to sink in). Most people confuse these terms because of how closely related they are. When you think of someone that's a genius, you often consider them wise. Now, there maybe a few of you that will say, "No I don't! I know exactly what they mean!" To those people I say, good for you. But for the the majority of people who speak the "King's English", we confuse the meaning of words all the time. It's natural.
My thoughts are, like wisdom, love only comes with age and experience. Love isn't simply a feeling that happens when you meet someone. Love requires time and is based on choices that are made. If you look at love as a "strong feeling", then it is an admission that love isn't anything special. Feelings are fleeting, and if that's the case, what separates love from like. Love has to be more complex than the definition that we have placed upon it. I think infatuation is a more appropriate term for what people are experiencing now-a-days. This may be the reason why divorce rates are so high. We are experiencing this "love" that just magically casts a spell over us and leaves us ignorant to all else in the world. I digress.
When you compare the terms genius and infatuation, it seems to fit what I am talking about. A child could come out of the womb and be termed a genius. He or she doesn't have the maturity and experience to be wise, but he or she is a genius. I can be totally smitten when I first meet a woman, but we don't have to maturity together for that infatuation to materialize into love.
I really, really want some feedback on this issue. Can you please respond and let me know what you think? I would really appreciate it. If you don't wish to, then please make the smoothest plans to take your own life. "I'm Just Sayin'..."
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