He Lives in Me?

So, before I get knee deep into this post, I want to first say that coming up with a title was pretty interesting. Without giving away too much, I'll just say the controversy of this topic caused me to make a joke out of it. So just listen to (or read, I guess) "My Thoughts".

The inspiration of my posts come from a myriad of different avenues. But it seems that recently, talk radio has had a significant affect on thoughts, that I might not necessarily have considered without it.

Today was no different then most days. I hopped in the car and tuned in to "The Russ Parr Morning Show", where I was greeted by Lil 'Wayne singing about an "officer". (go figure lol) I usually get mad when I hear music and no talk so I turned on a cd. I would've continued to listen to the cd, but I realized that it might be an interesting topic on the show. So I flipped back over to radio, and sure enough the topic was so controversial that I had to share it with you all.

I know for a fact that the majority of you who read this post are affiliated with some church. Whatever the denomination, you go to that church to hear the word of the Lord (or Allah). Some people take into consideration the size of the church, the popularity, or what the members have parked in the parking lot, as a basis for attendance. But how many of you go for the person that's delivering the message? I mean, does how he/she conduct him/her self play a big role in your attendance? Yes? No? Well listen to this...

On the show today, a woman sent an email in about a problem that she has with her pastor. Not really surprising, because a lot of people have some sort of disagreement with the leadership of their respective church. But her problem wasn't as superficial as wondering why the pastor is rolling around in a Benz while everyone else is driving a hooptie. She actually has proof that her pastor is not only bisexual, but he has been living on the down low for at least the last 4 years. Now, I'm not the type of person to put anything past anyone, but a person who is in a leadership position, such as a pastor, can not afford to make this sort lapse. Forget that the pastor is engaging in homosexual activity, which is clearly a practice that is not condoned by the church, he is also married which means he is breaking one of God's commandments. Now, far be it from me to sit up on my high horse and pretend that I haven't sinned or fallen short of the expectations that God has for me, but then again I'm not appointed to the position of spiritual leadership. That's not to say his sins are any worse than mine, but his are under a microscope of an entire congregation, while mine are simply overlooked by people whom are not in my inner circle. I'm sure at some point over this past paragraph, you've asked yourself the question, "How is the emailer so sure the pastor is bisexual?" Well apparently he has been in a secretive relationship with her blood brother for the past 4 years.

As you can see, I have a problem getting to the point. The purpose of this post was to get your feedback on this story, and to see if you would continue to be apart of the congregation where the leadership didn't necessarily practice what he/she preached. I intend to leave my opinion in the comment log after I've gotten enough feedback. But whatever my opinion is, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time."

Positive Reinforcement

My routine of a Monday was a bit skewed today in the sense that, the children were just getting back from spring break. What this means is they were acting like it was still a holiday. Not really a surprise, because I remember not acting right after a long absence from school. But the big surprise of the day has me reaching into "My Thoughts".

I'm going to tell you a story about a child in my school. In order to protect myself from any type of litigation, I'm going to call this child(niggas will sue over anything now-a-days lol), "disruptive kid".

Disruptive kid has been a problem for me every since I arrived at Shepherd Elementary School. He constantly interrupts class, I constantly send him to the office, and his parents were the first call I ever made home. Actually his class might be the worse class in the school, but somehow he manages to stick out. Mrs. Gilmore's class is one of two fourth grade classes that we have in the school, and they are as different as night and day. So, since disruptive kid belongs to Gilmore's "goons" (which the staff affectionately calls them lol), I was a bit surprised to see him walking out of Mrs. Valentine-Nelson's class this afternoon (the other fourth grade teacher). My first thought was,"Why the hell is he in here!" Mrs. Valentine-Nelson must have read my mind (or maybe I said it out loud lol) because she looked at me and said disruptive kid would be in her class for the remainder of the school year. Now, this really bothered me because Mrs. Valentine-Nelson's class is probably the most well behaved class in the school; and since he was the sore thumb that stuck out of Mrs. Gilmore's class, I figured that he would corrupt Mrs. Valentine-Nelson's class. Boy was I wrong. Not only did he come to class and behave, he wrote me an apology for his previous behavior. I stood amazed and surprised that this disruptive kid was able to change his behavior. I was so impressed, that I told his teacher of his pleasant behavior and she announced it to the class along with his reception of a reward.

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to the point, but I want some feedback from you all on this matter. I saw from this experience, that any child, no matter how disruptive, can change their behavior. All they need is the right circumstance. But the trouble I'm having is the vehicle that sparked this change. Was it the change of scenery from one classroom to the next? Was it being around a more well behaved group of students? or Was it the promise of reward that changed disruptive kid's behavior? I have my own opinion, but I would love to hear yours; And whatever you opinion is, this is "Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time"

Reflection or Glorification?

As most of you who read this blog know, I love hip hop. All I do is walk around and quote lyrics all day. It's like every time an album comes out, I have to run to the store and buy it. Like a fiend. (lol) This is why I call myself a hip hop head. So this post will be coming from the vantage point of a self proclaimed hip hop head. But even if you don't really care for hip hop, this post will be a little more than my rants on hip hop being dead. So please ride with me through "My Thoughts".

When hip hop first came on the scene, it was used as a tool for inner city youth that felt their voices were unheard. This new genre of music gave a direct link from the "hood", if you will, to the ear of America. Over a quarter of century later, hip hop's original purpose has still held true. But as anything else over time, it has changed. Now, of course, evolution is inevitable. But if you, like myself, are a fan of hip hop, you'd notice that there is a wide gap between where hip hop was founded, and where it is today. Now, I don't remember the exact date when this distance started, but I vividly remember hip hop being fun and cool and the turning violent and dangerous when N.W.A. burst on the scene. (No disrespect to anyone, this was just my observation)
Not to step on anyone's creative expression or voice, but this is where I felt hip hop morphed from something positive and fun to something negative and destructive. But all I continue to hear is, this "new" form of "hip hop" is a reflection of the lives of the artist who put these songs on wax. Dictionary.com (this is where I usually go to look up words lol) defines reflection as "the act of reflecting". (didn't we learn that you weren't supposed to use the word in the definition? lol) So I went to the word reflect and it's definition is "to reproduce; show". Now, I will admit that a few of these artist have really lived the lives that they are rhyming about. (the majority of them aren't but that's a whole 'nother issue that I will address in a later post) But the way that they are portraying their lives is in a manner that makes you wonder, why aren't they still living this way?

Basically, (to get to the point lol) I was listening to track 4 on T.I.'s latest album, "Paper Trail". One line that stuck out to me was "...let me issue this statement, no way should reflection be mistaken for glorification". The definition of glorify is, "To honor with praise, admiration, or worship". Now, I can't say that I've heard every hip hop/rap song in the world (even though I know the words to alot of them lol), but almost all of the ones that I have heard, that are supposed to be a reflection, are also praising these lifestyles. For instance, to go back to one of T.I.'s first songs, "Dope Boyz", he went through the whole song talking about life in the "Trapp". He might not intentionally tried to glorify his actions, but the song made it cool to be a "Dope Boy". (which is why everybody and they Mama are running around calling themselves "D Boys")

The problem that I am having with this glorified reflection, is that the youth of America are being negatively influenced by it. They hear how much fun it is to ride around armed and they try to emulate it. Or they hear that selling your hope for other peoples despair should somehow garner a badge of honor. Artist think just because they throw out the diclaimer, "I'm just rapping about my experiences" that it's okay to irresponsibly lead kids down the wrong path. A few years back I heard artist's refer to their rhymes as "crack". (Cocaine mixed with sodium bicarbonate and water) Maybe this name is appropriate because it's destroying our community with the same rapaciousness as the drug itself. You might feel different, but hell, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time"

Oh Yeah, shot out to Va'meka, Bobby, and Sheronica for the insight on the construction of this post. I really appreciate it! Now, stop pattin' yourselves on the back before I politely ask you to kill yourselves lmao

Absence...Fonder Hearts? or Out of Mind?

You can learn alot about a person through their facebook statuses. I may throw a snippet on there about my life, nothing too serious, but I mainly keep it hip hop. Some people tell exactly what they're doing at the time. Some people use it as a forum to voice they're frustration. Whatever the particular use, it gives some insight to where a person is in their life at the present moment. (Didn't think it was that deep huh?) But this morning, one certain post has me reaching into "My Thoughts."

Throughout your life, I'm sure you've heard different sayings that have stuck with you. And I'm sure that the cliche's, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "Out of sight, out of mind" are two that you probably remember. I mean, they are directly related, in a opposing view. So to get to the point, the question was asked, "Which of these hold true? Absence makes the heart grow fonder OR out of sight, out of mind???? I wonder..... What do U think?" (This is directly quoted from her status on facebook)

Before I ask you to comment let me give my opinion. (I promise not to drag it out like I do every other post lol)
I look at both these sayings and the first thing that comes to mind is the picture of a relationship. I see the beginning of that relationship while everything is so fresh and new and I think of the first saying. Then after everything starts to sour, and you all can't really stand being around each other, I think of the latter saying. Now, of course it's not that black and white, it has an area that's shaded grey. (yes I took it from T.I. but it fits) So in the interest of finding this grey area, I'm going to open this up for discussion. Yes, this means that you must comment on this post. And you know what? I'm sick of asking you niggas (yes the "n" word has ressurected) to comment. Imma have to stop asking you to kill yourself and start going around and doing it for you. Naw for real though please comment. "My Thoughts" mean absolutely nothing without your perspective. But whatever your perspective, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time"

Shot out to Ebony Coley for allowing me to use her facebook status. I appreciate, Thank you.

Communication is Key...

Seems like the resounding consensus about Jarrett I. Burgess is, he's horrible at communicating. To that I say, "Guilty as charged." But I can't understand why. If you know me, you'll notice that I would rather send a text than talk on the phone (that's pretty funny cause I just got text messaging back in December lol) or I would rather write about how I feel on certain matters in a blog than actually talk to someone about it. Now, since this was one of the factors that lead to the demise of a lengthy relationship, I have to get down to the bottom of this before I'm alone for the rest of my life.

First thing I decided, was to look into my past and see if there was some sort of traumatic event that lead to this. Only thing I can think of is a couple of beatings that I received for trying to express my opinion. This can hardly be classified as a traumatic event. (then again, every beating by John Burgess was traumatic lol)
Second, I had to ask myself, "Was I always like this?" and honestly, I really can't remember. I want to say no, but I don't want to lie to you all. Truth is, growing up, I never really talked about serious subjects that affected me. I would always internalize everything and try to advise myself. So, I guess that would be a yes to my question.
Finally, I have to ask myself, "What are the underlying issues that prevent me from communicating now?" Now, if we've ever had a conversation, you'd know that I interrupt myself alot. Okay, you might not understand what I mean, so let me explain. I have tons of thoughts running through my mind at any given moment. I always filter those thoughts because I don't want to say the wrong thing. (I hate it when people just whatever they want out of their mouth without thought and classify it as being "real") So I jump around from thought to thought picking and choosing how I want to deliver those thoughts. (Yes this explains why I talk the way I do lol) For this very reason, I choose to not say anything on certain matters because no one would ever understand what the hell I was talking about. This has greatly affected my life.

So, at this point, I'm sure you're asking yourself, "Jarrett, what does this have to do with me?" Wow! Are you really that selfish? lol It's apparent that I need some type of help. So if any of you have some sort of advice (or the number to a shrink lol) please help me out. I know this will be another post that guys will criticize but f*ck it, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time"

(Oh and I was serious about the shrink, 'cause I know a few of you would advise me to kill myself lol)

Let The Chu'ch Say Amen

If you remember in my "Spare The Rod?" post (you should remember 'cause it wasn't that long ago!), I talked about my commute to work and how I listen to "The Russ Parr Morning Show." Well, this week they finally switched from the Chris/Rihanna saga to something that really provoked some real thought. The church, to me, has always been thought of as a place where you should be able to talk about any and every issue that goes on in life. I guess I feel this way because if you can't address real life issues in church, then it's only an unauthentic place where people go to show off their fashion sense and how much of a "better Christian" they are. That really wouldn't be a place that I would fit in. So I was interested to hear that a church, in North Carolina I believe, was doing a series of messages about sex. Yes...Sex! So, basically on the show they were taking in calls to see how people felt about this. The feel that I got from the majority of callers was clear- People aren't comfortable talking about anything that has to do with sex in church. I mean, you had to hear how adamant people were about not having this topic discussed in their respective churches. After hearing this show, I knew I had to get to work and spend my planning period working on this post (shhhh...don't tell anybody, lol). Now, maybe it's me, but is there a more appropriate forum to discuss sex? I think the big problem is, we view sex as such a nasty, dirty thing that we are uncomfortable talking about it (unless we get liquored up and we're feeling a lil loose, lmao). What we don't realize is, everybody is going to learn about sex. All too often, children are taught about sex after they have already had a sexual experience. What good is that? We (I'm excluding myself though) are so scared that if we talk to our kids about sex, they are going to run out and become whores and whoremongers (yes, I used the old terms!). The thing with that theory is, by not telling them about sex, we're allowing the whoremongers to educate them (can I get an Amen? lol)! I wrote this post to simply say that with the AIDS rate rising 3.7% in the District last year, our previous efforts aren't working. If people feel that the church talking about sex will make them uncomfortable, well maybe yo ass needs to be uncomfortable (excuse me for that broken English and foul language, lol). That way, you'll think about putting on protection when you have random sex with people (or sex with anyone for that matter). So maybe we need to allow the church to take a stab at it. They can't do any worse than we've been doing. I'm sure you have your own opinion on the subject, so comment, but this is "Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time." Oh yeah! And I know that you aren't supposed to have sex before marriage, and I'm supposing that the church talks about that, but it's unrealistic to think that everybody is saving themselves. Shot out to Lamont for being in tune with me!

Predator?

If you remember, in my "Medium of Mayhem" post I talked about how in the eyes of public opinion, you're almost always found guilty until proven innocent. Didn't read it? Well stop right now, go back, and read it; and you better leave a comment! I'll wait...*humming Jeopardy theme music* You finished? Well, let's continue. In a lot of those cases, our suspicion is correct. But what happens when it's not? Not following? Well listen to this...

In 2006, a male teacher from Montgomery County Public Schools was accused of sexually assaulting two teenage girls. He was cut up by the media, who believed that since the accusations were made, he had to be guilty. To make a long story short, it turned out that the girls lied, and they came forward to admit that the teacher never touched them; problem is, when the teacher was found, he had a bullet in his head (he killed himself).

That story was really a precursor to what happened (or, more appropriately, what could happen) at my elementary school. The other day, one of the teachers that I'm really close to here (of course she's a Howard Grad, class of '73 I believe) told me a story about how one of the kids in here class lied on her (I will only tell the people who leave a comment what he actually said). Now this isn't the only teacher that this kid has lied on, because a few weeks ago another teacher told me about how he wrote a letter apologizing for the lie that he told on her. So his credibility is shot. But since you have to take the accusations that children make seriously, his teacher doesn't want him to come back to her class. And rightfully so, because at this point, he's a liability to her livelihood.

So, I'm really writing right now because if he's making his way around school lying on teachers, who's to say I'm not next? One little lie by this kid, or some other kid, could have me on someone's sex offender registry list. That shit would ruin my life. Low key, it really has me contemplating changing professions. I can't even express the type of anger I have for this topic. Sorry if I bored you with this post, but shit, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time."