If you are fortunate enough to have more than one friend, then I'm pretty sure that they are not all alike. We all need an array of friends to give us different perspectives of how life is or can be. Some of these friends have different views or opinions on certain issues that you just can't accept. This post is to speak to one of those issues...
Whenever I hear someone say, "It was love at first sight...", I get pissed off. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but what can I say I'm an extremist! It's not really the thought that you can see someone and instantly fall in love that pisses me off, it's more so the misidentification of the feeling. If you're reading "I'm Just Sayin'" for the first time, then you wouldn't know that I am a lover of words. I read the dictionary for fun. I do have my slip ups, but for the most part, every word that comes out of my mouth is deliberate and well calculated. So when I hear someone use a word loosely without understanding it's true meaning, it slightly irritates me(I'm about to get deep so please bear with me).
Okay, so basically my assessment of the phrase,"Love at first sight" is that it's nonesensical. This is probably due to the fact that my definition and the definition that most people use for the term "love" isn't synonymous. I even have a problem with the dictionary.com's definition of the word "love". I don't agree that love is a "strong feeling" (I'll explain in-depth later). To understand my point consider the analogy, love is to wisdom as genius is to infatuation (repeat that as many times as needed for it to sink in). Most people confuse these terms because of how closely related they are. When you think of someone that's a genius, you often consider them wise. Now, there maybe a few of you that will say, "No I don't! I know exactly what they mean!" To those people I say, good for you. But for the the majority of people who speak the "King's English", we confuse the meaning of words all the time. It's natural.
My thoughts are, like wisdom, love only comes with age and experience. Love isn't simply a feeling that happens when you meet someone. Love requires time and is based on choices that are made. If you look at love as a "strong feeling", then it is an admission that love isn't anything special. Feelings are fleeting, and if that's the case, what separates love from like. Love has to be more complex than the definition that we have placed upon it. I think infatuation is a more appropriate term for what people are experiencing now-a-days. This may be the reason why divorce rates are so high. We are experiencing this "love" that just magically casts a spell over us and leaves us ignorant to all else in the world. I digress.
When you compare the terms genius and infatuation, it seems to fit what I am talking about. A child could come out of the womb and be termed a genius. He or she doesn't have the maturity and experience to be wise, but he or she is a genius. I can be totally smitten when I first meet a woman, but we don't have to maturity together for that infatuation to materialize into love.
I really, really want some feedback on this issue. Can you please respond and let me know what you think? I would really appreciate it. If you don't wish to, then please make the smoothest plans to take your own life. "I'm Just Sayin'..."
4 comments:
So here's my thought....
I am in the school of thought that takes the position of love being a verb. If you LOVE someone, it is based on your actions. Feelings are feelings. I can tell someone i love them all day long and never do anything to show it- which is a contradiction.
Love at first sight to me really means that a person feels instant chemistry- what is done with that may mature into a Loving relationship, or could just as easily become volatile, violent, and hurtful.
I've known too many people that mistook their feelings for "love" and even thought that the beatings and name-callings, and sexual abuse were "love."
Wake up people.
-two mama cents for ya :)
Since I value my life, I'll choose the option to offer my opinion. I'm pretty sure at this point you know where I stand on this issue, but in reading your post I developed a counter question; not to challenge your point, but to offer additional support for your argument. As a believer in Christ, I am taught that God IS love. That being said, what an insult would it be to consider lover as merely a "strong feeling?" I agree that if people respected the severity of expressing such a rich word in an impoverished manner, then the divorce rate probably would be a lot lower. Well, that and the fact that most weddings happen out of a need to compete with a social standard; but i digress. The reality is that most of our lives do not mimic that of a romance novel, therefore "love at first sight" is a whimsical reference that many have felt entitled to express without merit. It's sad, really, and as much as I'd love to believe it were possible, I'm not quite sure I'd trust an "at first sight" as it relates to anything that would affect my life in such a profound way. I'm just sayin'...
Love is a word so great it encompasses a multitude of feelings but also requires clear and consistent action. One without the other is meaningless and honestly I don't believe possible. If I love someone, romantically or platonically, I do what is in their best interest regardless of how I may feel at that moment in time but to be able to have such a view of a potential beloved takes time. You need to be sure this person is worth such a huge investment of your time and energy. Love at first sight is simply Lust at first sight...and not strictly in the sexual sense of the word.
This take on the concept of love requires a level of maturity that very few possess, no matter the age or number of romantic partners. We have all been surrounded by stories of Love at first sight and taught to believe that when you “click” with someone it's a sign that you're meant for each other. We need to take the time to figure out on what level we “click” and if that initial attraction is signal for friendship, something more or is purely physical. This exercise of self-reflection takes time and a boldness to delve into your own perception of accepted social norms-something very few have or are willing to invest in. Thanks for sharing.
I agree, "love at first sight" is probably not something that truly happens. However, when you love someone, it's often hard to remember a time when you didn't recognize the awesomeness of the object of your affection.
The way you take words reminds me of The Literals on the Amanda Show. Please check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jqscMDsJq4
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