Let me start this post off by saying I am so sorry for the delay between posts. I have been teaching at a new school for the last couple of weeks and these kids wear me out so much, that I don't feel much like writing when I get home. Add that to the fact that when I do feel like writing I have the biggest writing block and we have month long (well almost month long) hiatus on our hands. It's fine becasue I've had a few conversations in the last couple of weeks that have helped me get back on track. Shot out to all of you who helped me get back on track with this post. Now enough patting yourselves on the back, let me get on with "My Thoughts".
How many times have you heard the saying, "a good man is hard to find"? Well I hear that all too often. The reason, there are so many more women in this country then there are men. Now when you subtract the men that are gay, in jail, married, in relationships, or just really don't have anything going for themselves that ocean of men turns into a puddle. So in essence, a good man isn't hard to find, he's damn near impossible.
But ladies, what constitutes a good man? Is it a man that has a good job? A man that doesn't have kids? Or if he does have kids, he takes real good care of them? A man with no drama from his childs mother? A man with ambition? Goals? Well ladies, there are plenty of these men out here. But there is one problem, you are all after him. Yes, the good man that you wish for has so many women chasing him that he has become a tad bit arrogant. So he feels like, why date one woman when I can date a few and test the waters? And honestly can you blame this ideology?
This lead me to ask the question, what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot? Would women take advantage of the fact that there were so few of them and they had an abundance of men to choose from? Or would women choose to find one man and stick to him? Before I reveal what I think, I would like to have everyone comment and tell me how they feel. However I feel "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling At The Time".
5 comments:
well i feel like good men are hard to find SOMETIMES. BUT it also depends on the type of woman out there. Some woman want men who are sweet to them, and who can make them feel special and needed, and are drama free, with a good job, goals, and just overall respect for the female species!!! That's a good man.
NOw I don't think anyone wants to be disresptected, I believe that at times woman get confused, and put up with so much crap in a relationship for so long that they just stick with their no good men, forcing them to complain and making them long for a good man.
The truth is sometimes, when we have good men, we don't know how to treat them. I think it's because at this age, some women don't really know what they want. As humans we want what we can't have, if we have a good man, we want the rough thug, that adds unconscious excitement with drama, BUT if we have the man with drama, we want the good man.
Sometimes, I want to tell woman to get over themselves, and find out who they are before they get into any relationship at all, they have to know GOD, if they do not know him, they will never know themselves, and it'll force them to be confused in this whole relationship thing...
Good post!!! I believe there are good men/good women out there but i also think alot of people are dealing with "The Baggage" syndrome - meaning they have dealt with past hurts and are afraid of giving themselves to another person completely - out of fear of getting hurt... and that tends to get in the way of seeing a good man or good woman
This issue has so many different faces and circumstances. You never know what people went through to be who they are today. There are some women who do happen to find good men and date them to see which they like better. The bigger issue are the standards that black women are held to compared to other races of women and men themselves. Some men are looking for pure perfection and have many flaws within themselves to deal with. Personally everyones search and plight is different because they have different outlooks and are searching for different things. The definition of a good man differs between women. This is another round table discussion cause my personal journey is no joke and everyone in my family lets me know that the search is going to be hard. More of my friends down south are married then on the east coast. The list goes on to why things are the way they are...
I agree with Freyja there is "The Baggage" Syndrome! What happens is women have been put through so much crap from men of past relationships that they begin to start to not look for a good man but a perfect man and we all know that is damn near impossible unless you are God's Son! I at one point was almost a victim of "The Baggage Syndrome" but I had to take a step back and re-evaluate my situation and get myself in order and ask God to take all my past negativity from my heart and that is when he allowed me to open my eyes to the person I know he had made for me. Art and I have been together two years, and no he is not a perfect man, but he is that good man...for me! So my point here is ladies make sure you are a good woman before you press for a good man.
I feel that if women were of abundance I do not think they would play the field as a man would. I say this because unless a woman has male tendencies all they want and need is that one that one person that they can love for life and do not need the hassle of juggling men, b/c we all know you men can be a handful at times. Trust me when I tell you!!!!!!!!
Here is my opinion. I have alot of them but on this subject..
I think that you have everything backwards. There are so many women out there who are single and looking for a "good man" but when they find him, well he isnt her type. I know there were a few women before my wife who I thought I was in love with. I dont claim to be perfect but I tried to be for them. Thankfully they thought i was too nice or soft or whatever and moved on to someone new. I am glad they did becuase my wife gave me a chance and we have been married for 4 year, good and bad. I think women hold men to a very high standard and they find good men all the time but they dont really know what a good man is so they let him go. It is not the men that have the problem but ladies, you need to take you goggles off and see the world for what it is. That really nice guy at work who always seems to be there for you....thats the nice guy you have been looking for.
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