I probably should have done this before I put out the post about the 16th Amendment, but crying over spilled milk is about as ussless as a knife at a duel.
The last couple of weeks I have taken a small break from writing songs (not really) and devouted my time to researching the questions that I have about...Everything. More specifically, the things that most people choose to ignore because it challenges their way of thinking.
If you haven't noticed I'm being vague for a reason. So, you just have to read up and find out!
Friday, August 10, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Psychological Warfare: The 16th Amendment
Psychological Warfare- the use of propaganda, threats, and other psychological techniques to mislead, intimidate, demoralize, or otherwise influence the thinking or behavior of an opponent.
The average American waits at the mailbox, or now-a-days at the computer every two weeks to see exactly how much money they've earned for whatever service they've rendered. And like most Americans we cringe at the number that is removed from our wages earned to "fund" our federal government.
Each year we file our 1040's and wait on our federal government to let us know if we hit the tax return lottery, or if we are in-debted to them (the federal government). What if I told you that all of the pining you do around tax time was completely unwarranted? Not following me, huh? Well, let me let you in on a little secret: You are NOT LEGALLY bound to pay federal taxes! I know what most of you are thinking,"Jarrett, what the hell are you talking about?" It doesn't make sense, I know. But in 1913, we were the recipient of one of the biggest mind fucks in American history.
In 1913, the 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified and it said that,
The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration
There are two things wrong with this: First, the supreme court defined income tax as a tax on gains or a coporate tax, NOT a tax on your wages; Secondly, and more importantly there was NEVER a legal ratification of the 16th Amendment. Don't believe me, huh?
When Secretary of State Philander Knox reported the ratification of the 16th Amendment, he did so with more than three-fourths of the states agreeing to the new taxes. At the time, there were 48 states in the union which means 36 states needed to agree. It was reported that 38 of those 48 states agreed and we began to be taxed on our wages. Problem is only two states actually voted in favor of the 16th Amendment, which makes it null and void. Still don't believe me???
In 1984, William Benson set out to research just how true this was by going from state to state in search of the documentation that said the states ratified the 16th Amendment. In his reserach he found that all but 2 of the states either rejected the Amendment or changed the language in it making it void.
Yes, you have been and continue to be the victim of fraud by the hands of our government. This shouldn't come as a big surprise, though. Now, I am not suggesting anyone stop paying that taxes that you aren't legally required to pay, but I do petition you to do the research for yourself to understand just how trully diabolical our government is. If they slide this lie under your nose for almost a full century, then how many other lies are they sliding past us?
If you wish to continue in ignorance then that's your choice, but by not investigating you allow the powers that be continue feeding us lies. If you would like to do some investigating on your own, I suggest a documentary by Aaron Russo, "Freedom to Facism". Please don't ignore this. The government was set up to serve the people and for many years they haven't been doing a great job of this. They can only continue this if we ignore the blatant lies that we receive and choose to do nothing.
The average American waits at the mailbox, or now-a-days at the computer every two weeks to see exactly how much money they've earned for whatever service they've rendered. And like most Americans we cringe at the number that is removed from our wages earned to "fund" our federal government.
Each year we file our 1040's and wait on our federal government to let us know if we hit the tax return lottery, or if we are in-debted to them (the federal government). What if I told you that all of the pining you do around tax time was completely unwarranted? Not following me, huh? Well, let me let you in on a little secret: You are NOT LEGALLY bound to pay federal taxes! I know what most of you are thinking,"Jarrett, what the hell are you talking about?" It doesn't make sense, I know. But in 1913, we were the recipient of one of the biggest mind fucks in American history.
In 1913, the 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified and it said that,
The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration
There are two things wrong with this: First, the supreme court defined income tax as a tax on gains or a coporate tax, NOT a tax on your wages; Secondly, and more importantly there was NEVER a legal ratification of the 16th Amendment. Don't believe me, huh?
When Secretary of State Philander Knox reported the ratification of the 16th Amendment, he did so with more than three-fourths of the states agreeing to the new taxes. At the time, there were 48 states in the union which means 36 states needed to agree. It was reported that 38 of those 48 states agreed and we began to be taxed on our wages. Problem is only two states actually voted in favor of the 16th Amendment, which makes it null and void. Still don't believe me???
In 1984, William Benson set out to research just how true this was by going from state to state in search of the documentation that said the states ratified the 16th Amendment. In his reserach he found that all but 2 of the states either rejected the Amendment or changed the language in it making it void.
Yes, you have been and continue to be the victim of fraud by the hands of our government. This shouldn't come as a big surprise, though. Now, I am not suggesting anyone stop paying that taxes that you aren't legally required to pay, but I do petition you to do the research for yourself to understand just how trully diabolical our government is. If they slide this lie under your nose for almost a full century, then how many other lies are they sliding past us?
If you wish to continue in ignorance then that's your choice, but by not investigating you allow the powers that be continue feeding us lies. If you would like to do some investigating on your own, I suggest a documentary by Aaron Russo, "Freedom to Facism". Please don't ignore this. The government was set up to serve the people and for many years they haven't been doing a great job of this. They can only continue this if we ignore the blatant lies that we receive and choose to do nothing.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Down With The Chase?
I truly appreciate all the women that read this blog. Regardless if you agree or disagree with my "cynical", over-the-top views, your support is the reason I continue to write. Thanks!
With that being said, I kind of wish that more men would read and comment, so that I can have a range of views that confirm or deny my personal point of view. It's cool. I guess the fact that I'm privy to information that most women aren't will suffice.
After reading the comments under, 'Long Live The Chase', it appears that the resounding theme is that women don't want to play games. I understand this viewpoint. Who really WANTS to play games? Nobody! Not consciously anyway. But let's dig into the concept of "playing games". What the hell does that actually mean? I'm sure we all have our own definition, but I take it to mean that you aren't being entirely honest in what you want out of the interaction AND your actions are contrary to your words. If you were to take that meaning, how many of you would be guilty of "playing games"? ((Looks for hands to raise then steps back and waits on lightening for the self-righteous folks who kept their hands at their side)) (Sidenote: If you aren't willing to be honest with yourself please stop reading. There's no reason to waste your time)
Didn't really follow that? Okay, scenario time!
Scenario #1- Boy meets girl. Boy expresses interest in girl, but tells girl that he isn't looking to be in a relationship. Girl says that she isn't looking to be in one either and dating commences. Days, weeks, months later girl feels like her and boy are in a relationship, but boy still isn't looking to be in a relationship. Girl gets mad and confronts boy and the dating is dissolved.
Now, who would you say is playing games? It's cool, I'll let that one simmer.
Now that we have "playing games" (I can certainly take your personal meaning in the comment section, which I'm sure will lead to a follow up post) out of the way, let's get back to the point.
This is what I mean when I say "keep him chasing". Scenario time yet again.
Scenario #2- Boy and girl start dating and after months of getting to know one another thoroughly, Boy and Girl mutually agree to be in a committed relationship. Girl is so excited to have a man, that she changes certain behavioral patterns that she had during the dating phase. Girl doesn't go out with her friends anymore. Girl is always readily accessible to Boy. Girl wants to be up under Boy ALL the time. Boy likes this for a while, then realizes that this isn't exciting him. (Honest time) Boy starts to go out and receive attention from Other Girls. Boy still loves girl, but isn't excited by Girl.
Seems to me like Boy is about to get himself into some trouble.
I'm sure the women reading this post are thinking to themselves, "Wow! Niggas ain't shit!" (Total assumption) That assessment could possibly be fair, but where's the merit? I just described a situation that occurs more often than a man would like to admit, but the thing is: Most men don't even understand this about themselves! I'm sure that their's only a small population of men who have thought deep enough on this issue; and an even smaller number are willing to be honest about it.
Back to the topic. Having a man continue to chase isn't a bad thing. Who really wants to be in a stale relationship? I know I don't and I'm almost certain that you don't. My point is for you as women to do things to keep us engaged and excited. Go out with your friends. Don't immediately respond to our text messages. Allow us to miss you. Let us be the aggressors. We need that as men to stay engaged. Call it "playing games" if you must, but I can't imagine a guy who loves you not wanting to stay in a relationship if you're keeping it exciting.
At the end of the day, I just want to improve the relations between men and women. It is my belief that we either aren't being honest with ourselves or we aren't being honest with each other. I have already decided to follow up on this post to answer some of the unanswered questions that are still looming. Well, unless you all feel like I'm beating a dead horse (Oh Seabiscuit! :'-( ) Again, I appreciate all of you for reading and I look forward to your comments.
With that being said, I kind of wish that more men would read and comment, so that I can have a range of views that confirm or deny my personal point of view. It's cool. I guess the fact that I'm privy to information that most women aren't will suffice.
After reading the comments under, 'Long Live The Chase', it appears that the resounding theme is that women don't want to play games. I understand this viewpoint. Who really WANTS to play games? Nobody! Not consciously anyway. But let's dig into the concept of "playing games". What the hell does that actually mean? I'm sure we all have our own definition, but I take it to mean that you aren't being entirely honest in what you want out of the interaction AND your actions are contrary to your words. If you were to take that meaning, how many of you would be guilty of "playing games"? ((Looks for hands to raise then steps back and waits on lightening for the self-righteous folks who kept their hands at their side)) (Sidenote: If you aren't willing to be honest with yourself please stop reading. There's no reason to waste your time)
Didn't really follow that? Okay, scenario time!
Scenario #1- Boy meets girl. Boy expresses interest in girl, but tells girl that he isn't looking to be in a relationship. Girl says that she isn't looking to be in one either and dating commences. Days, weeks, months later girl feels like her and boy are in a relationship, but boy still isn't looking to be in a relationship. Girl gets mad and confronts boy and the dating is dissolved.
Now, who would you say is playing games? It's cool, I'll let that one simmer.
Now that we have "playing games" (I can certainly take your personal meaning in the comment section, which I'm sure will lead to a follow up post) out of the way, let's get back to the point.
This is what I mean when I say "keep him chasing". Scenario time yet again.
Scenario #2- Boy and girl start dating and after months of getting to know one another thoroughly, Boy and Girl mutually agree to be in a committed relationship. Girl is so excited to have a man, that she changes certain behavioral patterns that she had during the dating phase. Girl doesn't go out with her friends anymore. Girl is always readily accessible to Boy. Girl wants to be up under Boy ALL the time. Boy likes this for a while, then realizes that this isn't exciting him. (Honest time) Boy starts to go out and receive attention from Other Girls. Boy still loves girl, but isn't excited by Girl.
Seems to me like Boy is about to get himself into some trouble.
I'm sure the women reading this post are thinking to themselves, "Wow! Niggas ain't shit!" (Total assumption) That assessment could possibly be fair, but where's the merit? I just described a situation that occurs more often than a man would like to admit, but the thing is: Most men don't even understand this about themselves! I'm sure that their's only a small population of men who have thought deep enough on this issue; and an even smaller number are willing to be honest about it.
Back to the topic. Having a man continue to chase isn't a bad thing. Who really wants to be in a stale relationship? I know I don't and I'm almost certain that you don't. My point is for you as women to do things to keep us engaged and excited. Go out with your friends. Don't immediately respond to our text messages. Allow us to miss you. Let us be the aggressors. We need that as men to stay engaged. Call it "playing games" if you must, but I can't imagine a guy who loves you not wanting to stay in a relationship if you're keeping it exciting.
At the end of the day, I just want to improve the relations between men and women. It is my belief that we either aren't being honest with ourselves or we aren't being honest with each other. I have already decided to follow up on this post to answer some of the unanswered questions that are still looming. Well, unless you all feel like I'm beating a dead horse (Oh Seabiscuit! :'-( ) Again, I appreciate all of you for reading and I look forward to your comments.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Long Live The Chase
Guess who's biz-ack with a fresh post for the masses??? No! I'm not Crystal Marie Grant! Her blog is www.awordorthree.com. My name is Jarrett Burgess, remember me? Well, if you don't, I've brought you such thought provoking posts such as 'Always the Chase, Rarely the Capture' and 'Pimp Juice'; "But this ish right here n$gg@, this ish right here!" may just be the thing to get my former readers back on my team.
I always proclaim to tell the truth. This is a lie. Not intentionally, but moreso because there are times when I'm not truthful with myself, so how can I be expected to be honest with someone else? I'm sure most of you can share in this sentiment; and for those of you who can't, you're lying to yourself right now, so just stop reading this post. I'm about to be as transparent as I have ever been, and it will take an open mind to navigate what you read and understand the relations between men and women. If I can remember correctly, I usually throw out the disclaimer, "I do not claim to be the voice of every man." I do, however, speak for enough men that my thoughts are relevant and should be taken VERY serious.
Some time ago I wrote a post called 'Always the Chase, Rarely the Capture' (If you want to know what it's about then scroll back on this blog until you find it) where I released the tip of the iceberg...this time I'm going to drain the water.
I've always considered myself a good man, but after a few interactions with different women, I'm not so sure about that. I mean, I'm definitely a gentleman. I'm considerate. I'm chivalrous. I'm protective. A provider. All of the things that a woman would want in a man (Okay, I'm tooting my own horn for a purpose). The problem is, the innate thing that separates male and female didn't fully skip over me.
The "thrill" of the chase is something that excites every man. It doesn't matter how much we attempt to deny it. It's the reason why some men cheat physically. It's the reason why some men hold inapporpriate relationships with women that aren't their significant other. We have something inside of us that craves pursuit. I have absolutely no idea where it comes from, but ladies, any man willing to be totally honest, will tell you that it's inside of him. We can be totally enthralled with a woman, but once we "have" her, we no longer have the thrill of the chase. Now, I purposely put quotations around "have" in that last sentence to illustrate that "have" doesn't necessarily mean sex. The word "have" could simply mean "have your attention". Whatever the meaning, something changes in BOTH of us after the capture.
Ladies, I know you may not want to follow me on this, but check me out: During the chase phase, most women are interested without being too available; nice with the right touch of sassiness; and partial without being overly-affectionate. Once "the chase" turns into "the capture", that changes a bit (or a lot depending on the woman). Now, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with this, because that means that we've won your total attention; but this change in you all is counteracted by the change in us. The chase is complete.
I went through all of that to give women the secret to keeping a man interested after he "has" you: Keep him chasing! Pretty obvious, huh? Yeah, well you already knew that men weren't that complicated. I'm sure that the average woman will say, "Jarrett, this sounds like games and I'm getting too old for that". While on some level I agree with this, I think the alternative reeks of laziness and complacency. Far too often I see women get a man and stop doing all the things that they did to attract him. If you're content with this, then continue doing what you've been doing; but if not, ask questions under the "comments" tab of this post and I promise I will write a follow up answering your questions.
I always proclaim to tell the truth. This is a lie. Not intentionally, but moreso because there are times when I'm not truthful with myself, so how can I be expected to be honest with someone else? I'm sure most of you can share in this sentiment; and for those of you who can't, you're lying to yourself right now, so just stop reading this post. I'm about to be as transparent as I have ever been, and it will take an open mind to navigate what you read and understand the relations between men and women. If I can remember correctly, I usually throw out the disclaimer, "I do not claim to be the voice of every man." I do, however, speak for enough men that my thoughts are relevant and should be taken VERY serious.
Some time ago I wrote a post called 'Always the Chase, Rarely the Capture' (If you want to know what it's about then scroll back on this blog until you find it) where I released the tip of the iceberg...this time I'm going to drain the water.
I've always considered myself a good man, but after a few interactions with different women, I'm not so sure about that. I mean, I'm definitely a gentleman. I'm considerate. I'm chivalrous. I'm protective. A provider. All of the things that a woman would want in a man (Okay, I'm tooting my own horn for a purpose). The problem is, the innate thing that separates male and female didn't fully skip over me.
The "thrill" of the chase is something that excites every man. It doesn't matter how much we attempt to deny it. It's the reason why some men cheat physically. It's the reason why some men hold inapporpriate relationships with women that aren't their significant other. We have something inside of us that craves pursuit. I have absolutely no idea where it comes from, but ladies, any man willing to be totally honest, will tell you that it's inside of him. We can be totally enthralled with a woman, but once we "have" her, we no longer have the thrill of the chase. Now, I purposely put quotations around "have" in that last sentence to illustrate that "have" doesn't necessarily mean sex. The word "have" could simply mean "have your attention". Whatever the meaning, something changes in BOTH of us after the capture.
Ladies, I know you may not want to follow me on this, but check me out: During the chase phase, most women are interested without being too available; nice with the right touch of sassiness; and partial without being overly-affectionate. Once "the chase" turns into "the capture", that changes a bit (or a lot depending on the woman). Now, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with this, because that means that we've won your total attention; but this change in you all is counteracted by the change in us. The chase is complete.
I went through all of that to give women the secret to keeping a man interested after he "has" you: Keep him chasing! Pretty obvious, huh? Yeah, well you already knew that men weren't that complicated. I'm sure that the average woman will say, "Jarrett, this sounds like games and I'm getting too old for that". While on some level I agree with this, I think the alternative reeks of laziness and complacency. Far too often I see women get a man and stop doing all the things that they did to attract him. If you're content with this, then continue doing what you've been doing; but if not, ask questions under the "comments" tab of this post and I promise I will write a follow up answering your questions.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Social Media
Ever since social media stepped on the scene (Blackplanet was my first memory), it has been used by people for various reasons. Whether you use it for networking, love, or just connecting with people that you don't see on a regular basis, it has a huge effect on the way we interact now-a-days. How you represent yourself on social media can paint a vivid picture of the person you are to the people that "friend" or "follow" you. But what if that picture isn't a true depiction of the person that you are?
A few months ago I decided to turn my attention away from the Facebook craze and see just what Twitter had to offer. When I first started I didn't really understand the point. I mean, it just seemed like a Facebook status update with less character use. I quickly saw that Twitter was its own beast with different features and a different set of rules.
I started Twitter with just a few followers. I saw that my followers used Twitter to tweet about whatever they felt. Some would tweet inspirational thoughts for the day. Some would tweet about whatever topics were trending at the moment. Some would just tweet about what was going on in their day. Paying attention to this, I tried to find out exactly what I would use Twitter for. The primary reason I came up with was to promote the poetry on my blog. I started off doing this and quickly realized that nobody cared or paid much attention. After awhile I realized that the people that received the feedback on Twitter were the people that already had established themselves on the site or the people that said the craziest most controversial stuff. I decided that I would use the latter as my Twitter-dentity.(I know I usually have trouble getting to the point so here it is.)
A few weeks ago I had a friend tweet about her husband and how wonderful he was on their anniversary. I was so moved by that tweet that I decided to take a break from my usual Twitter antics and share how blessed I would be to have my wife tweet stuff like that about me. A couple minutes later I received a text message, from a woman that I thoroughly respect for the way she represents herself, about what I had tweeted. This woman is one of my followers and she let me know that with the way I represent myself on Twitter, I didn't strike her as the "marrying type." I must admit that when I first read this text I was a little upset that she said that. I mean, I believe that if anyone has ever spent any extensive time around me, they would know that the stuff I tweet is extreme and over the top.
After I got over the intial shock of the insult, I accepted what she said. I mean, how could I expect her to make any other assessment about the person I am? We did go out on a date or two, but that's hardly enough time to make an impression that would out-weigh what she reads on Twitter daily.
Even though I understood where she was coming from about the way I represent myself via Twitter, I can't agree with making assessments of people's character solely by the things that they tweet. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if it's being based on what you learn through social media, I can imagine that you'd misjudge a lot of good people. I know what and who I am, and although I kid around on Twitter about all sorts of randmoness, I know with great certainty that I will be a great boyfriend/husband/father etc. No tweet will take away from that.
A few months ago I decided to turn my attention away from the Facebook craze and see just what Twitter had to offer. When I first started I didn't really understand the point. I mean, it just seemed like a Facebook status update with less character use. I quickly saw that Twitter was its own beast with different features and a different set of rules.
I started Twitter with just a few followers. I saw that my followers used Twitter to tweet about whatever they felt. Some would tweet inspirational thoughts for the day. Some would tweet about whatever topics were trending at the moment. Some would just tweet about what was going on in their day. Paying attention to this, I tried to find out exactly what I would use Twitter for. The primary reason I came up with was to promote the poetry on my blog. I started off doing this and quickly realized that nobody cared or paid much attention. After awhile I realized that the people that received the feedback on Twitter were the people that already had established themselves on the site or the people that said the craziest most controversial stuff. I decided that I would use the latter as my Twitter-dentity.(I know I usually have trouble getting to the point so here it is.)
A few weeks ago I had a friend tweet about her husband and how wonderful he was on their anniversary. I was so moved by that tweet that I decided to take a break from my usual Twitter antics and share how blessed I would be to have my wife tweet stuff like that about me. A couple minutes later I received a text message, from a woman that I thoroughly respect for the way she represents herself, about what I had tweeted. This woman is one of my followers and she let me know that with the way I represent myself on Twitter, I didn't strike her as the "marrying type." I must admit that when I first read this text I was a little upset that she said that. I mean, I believe that if anyone has ever spent any extensive time around me, they would know that the stuff I tweet is extreme and over the top.
After I got over the intial shock of the insult, I accepted what she said. I mean, how could I expect her to make any other assessment about the person I am? We did go out on a date or two, but that's hardly enough time to make an impression that would out-weigh what she reads on Twitter daily.
Even though I understood where she was coming from about the way I represent myself via Twitter, I can't agree with making assessments of people's character solely by the things that they tweet. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if it's being based on what you learn through social media, I can imagine that you'd misjudge a lot of good people. I know what and who I am, and although I kid around on Twitter about all sorts of randmoness, I know with great certainty that I will be a great boyfriend/husband/father etc. No tweet will take away from that.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Always About The Chase, Rarely About The Capture
Good morning, afternoon, or evening folks! Whatever the time of day is, I really need you to sit down and actually actively apply yourself to this post. I've attempted to be as transparent as I can in the past, but I just may be breaking "Man Law" with this one. Not that this is some secret that we as men share when women aren't around, but it is my belief that since most men don't even understand this about themselves, they really wouldn't want women to know it until they are able to disect it.
So, I was asked this morning by Ms. Candice Thomas (it's so cold in the D! lmao) why do "men pursue a whole lot in the beginning and once they get what they want, they get comfortable?" I thought I would have an immediate answer to her for this question, but although I have wondered this myself, I still had to reflect on why I thought this was. The first thing I had to do was admit to myself that we as men do this. Yes, I myself am guilty. The second thing I had to do was not point the finger and say, "Women do it too, sometimes!!!" The third thing I had to do was convince myself to be totally honest in an attempt to create open dialouge between men and women, so that we can try to understand each other a little better. This is what I came up with.
So ladies, you are aware that boys and girls are raised a little different, right? Well, if so, you have to know that it heavily affects the way we interact/treat one another. Now, I think we as people objectify each other, but men objectifying women is highly visible. Why is that though? Quite simple: We're raised to! Not just by our fathers though!
One day, I saw a group of women speaking to a baby boy. They were all making a fuss over him and the little boy was just eating it up; grinning and cooing all over himself. One of the girls said, "Aww, he's so cute! He's going to be such a heart breaker when he gets older..." Another girl chimed in, "Yeah he's going to have all the girls. Girl, you better watch out, he's gonna make you a grandmother early."
As a little boy that's cute to say. Who actually expects a little boy to grow up and have multiple women??? (Sarcasm) But I want you to really consider how speaking things like this into a childs life can impact his future.
I really just wanted to mention that a as a precusor to what I think the biggest issue is. Here it goes...: We as men, from the very beginning of time, are taught to chase and capture or search and conquer. It's that simple. Right, wrong, or indifferent, that's the way it is.
Now, some guys do this intentionally, some do it without thought, but most men do this nonetheless. We as men see a woman that we are attracted to; we pursue her as hard as we can, sometimes going above and beyond our normal range of efforts to woo a woman; then once we have physically "captured" you, it is on to the next chase.
This is the reason why men can have sex without any emotional connection. It's not necessarily about the sex, it's more so about the capture.
Now, I'll be the first to say that this sounds terrible and disgusting superficially. Taking a deeper look at this though may help to destroy or at least recognize this cycle.
I have a whole lot more to say on this issue, but I have to stop it now so that I don't start to ramble. Please let me know how you feel about this issue? Thank you!
So, I was asked this morning by Ms. Candice Thomas (it's so cold in the D! lmao) why do "men pursue a whole lot in the beginning and once they get what they want, they get comfortable?" I thought I would have an immediate answer to her for this question, but although I have wondered this myself, I still had to reflect on why I thought this was. The first thing I had to do was admit to myself that we as men do this. Yes, I myself am guilty. The second thing I had to do was not point the finger and say, "Women do it too, sometimes!!!" The third thing I had to do was convince myself to be totally honest in an attempt to create open dialouge between men and women, so that we can try to understand each other a little better. This is what I came up with.
So ladies, you are aware that boys and girls are raised a little different, right? Well, if so, you have to know that it heavily affects the way we interact/treat one another. Now, I think we as people objectify each other, but men objectifying women is highly visible. Why is that though? Quite simple: We're raised to! Not just by our fathers though!
One day, I saw a group of women speaking to a baby boy. They were all making a fuss over him and the little boy was just eating it up; grinning and cooing all over himself. One of the girls said, "Aww, he's so cute! He's going to be such a heart breaker when he gets older..." Another girl chimed in, "Yeah he's going to have all the girls. Girl, you better watch out, he's gonna make you a grandmother early."
As a little boy that's cute to say. Who actually expects a little boy to grow up and have multiple women??? (Sarcasm) But I want you to really consider how speaking things like this into a childs life can impact his future.
I really just wanted to mention that a as a precusor to what I think the biggest issue is. Here it goes...: We as men, from the very beginning of time, are taught to chase and capture or search and conquer. It's that simple. Right, wrong, or indifferent, that's the way it is.
Now, some guys do this intentionally, some do it without thought, but most men do this nonetheless. We as men see a woman that we are attracted to; we pursue her as hard as we can, sometimes going above and beyond our normal range of efforts to woo a woman; then once we have physically "captured" you, it is on to the next chase.
This is the reason why men can have sex without any emotional connection. It's not necessarily about the sex, it's more so about the capture.
Now, I'll be the first to say that this sounds terrible and disgusting superficially. Taking a deeper look at this though may help to destroy or at least recognize this cycle.
I have a whole lot more to say on this issue, but I have to stop it now so that I don't start to ramble. Please let me know how you feel about this issue? Thank you!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Marriage is for Grown Folks
When I contemplate the idea of marriage, I do so with a few great examples of what it takes to make a relationship last. My grandparents were married for 54 years; my parents were married for 32 years; and with the exception my uncle and aunt, (RIP Uncle Gary) I haven't seen any marriage in my family end in divorce. As you would assume, this can put a lot of pressure on me as the next generation to find the right fit of a mate. With marriage being taken so lightly now-a-days, I'm terrified that I may make the wrong choice and be the one that messes up the tradition of resolve and stick-to-it-tiveness. Now, I'm sure (for those of you who know) can look at my previous relationship and all of the back and forth (which was solely on my part), and say that I've already created a behavior of running. I can understand why that may be a concern, but if you consider that I tried on many occasions to right the wrong in myself (not sure how sucessful I was) in order to make the situation healthy, I think you'd see that that isn't an issue. But I digress because this post isn't about that.
So, I was watching the season finale of 'Housewives of Atlanta' (How the hell are they housewives if only Cynthia is married???) and one of the suspicions that I've had for a long time was confirmed. Now, I saw this throughout the season, but it was more apparent on this episode than any other. I know some of you would like me to just hurry up and say what that is, but I like being a jerk like this so I'll just sing the jeopardy theme music and then I'll say it *Jeopardy theme*...A good quantity of women get married with the wedding in mind, more so than the actual marriage. I do realize that as little girls and young women, some women had dreams of the big lavish wedding with all of the trimmings. There aren't many women out there that haven't had these dreams, but when you grow up into women you have to understand what's within reason and what just isn't feasible.
I've said on numerous occasions that me and the person that I decide to tie the knot with, will be doing so at the justice of the peace. I really only say this to piss women (especially my mother) off. I'm honestly open to having something intimate, but only if it doesn't land me in the poor house. Again, I digress because this post isn't about that.
Basically, I want to know what women think about this issue. Do you feel that Cynthia's actions toward marriage fit your thoughts? Do you think that it's more about the marriage than the wedding? Let me know what you think, please?
So, I was watching the season finale of 'Housewives of Atlanta' (How the hell are they housewives if only Cynthia is married???) and one of the suspicions that I've had for a long time was confirmed. Now, I saw this throughout the season, but it was more apparent on this episode than any other. I know some of you would like me to just hurry up and say what that is, but I like being a jerk like this so I'll just sing the jeopardy theme music and then I'll say it *Jeopardy theme*...A good quantity of women get married with the wedding in mind, more so than the actual marriage. I do realize that as little girls and young women, some women had dreams of the big lavish wedding with all of the trimmings. There aren't many women out there that haven't had these dreams, but when you grow up into women you have to understand what's within reason and what just isn't feasible.
I've said on numerous occasions that me and the person that I decide to tie the knot with, will be doing so at the justice of the peace. I really only say this to piss women (especially my mother) off. I'm honestly open to having something intimate, but only if it doesn't land me in the poor house. Again, I digress because this post isn't about that.
Basically, I want to know what women think about this issue. Do you feel that Cynthia's actions toward marriage fit your thoughts? Do you think that it's more about the marriage than the wedding? Let me know what you think, please?
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