Welcome Back

Well, well, well. I don't even know what I'm doing sitting in front of this computer screen. I've taken a nice lil break from writing, and have found myself back in the mood to release "My Thoughts." Alot has gone on this summer that I must share with you all and my only forum is this blog. Even if you don't read this post it's important for me to bare my soul in the next coming posts, so that I can work through the issues that have plagued my life, not only for the last few months, but for my entire life. So the next few posts, I have to employ you all (sorry no compensation lol) to be therapists as I try and work through my problems. I like to thank you in advance for working for free (I know everyone wants to get paid for their work during this depression lol) because I have some stuff that I need to lay on the table about my life in general, in hopes that it will release me to become a better person. So sit back and allow me to lay on your couch as we get knee deep in the mini series that I like to call "The Maturation of J Reed"

Everybody's Gangsta

At a young age I realized that the block wasn't for me

don't get me wrong, my upbringing was drenched in poverty

More oodles of noodles and syrup sandwiches than any dude you see

But thoughts of the fast life I knew I had to concede

Not because it wasn't glamorous and attractive to me

More because it was scandalous and retractive to me

In a world where it seems like "Gangsta" is the thing to be

It's seems uncouth would be the word you'd use to define me

But I'm ok with it, 'cause I know it sets me apart

And I know my personality will pierce you memory like a dart

Seems like pretending is in and has become a new art

But being "Gangsta's" a facade, not who you are in your heart

I know that the road that I'm on is the one less traveled

full of freshness and newness not worn with dirt and gravel

So if Gangsta's the path you choose it'll be an uphill battle

'Cause at some point you're waiting for your life to unravel

But if Gangsta's what you need to help your self esteem

Then please kill yourself, 'cause that excuse is stupid to me

Just be yourself, 'cause I truly believe

That none of these guys are ever as Gangsta as they seem

Make It Rain?

I know what a few of you are thinking: "Jarrett, would you stop posting poetry and get to some subjects that I can argue with you about!" Alright, alright! I'm on it! I have something fresh from a story that I heard this week that I'm sure a few of you will disagree with. So sit back and let me spill "My Thoughts."

Not sure what year it was instituted, but child support has been the savior for many a child. Men who decided to go in raw (figured there was no use in sugar coating it) have been dreading this decree by the government every since it's existence. I must say that I really am not too empathetic to them though. But one thing I get upset with, is women who misuse this money. Don't get me wrong, I think there are a few things a mother must have to take care of a child. But if you are a woman that is attempting to live above your means with the aid of this money, then I think you should be ashamed of yourself (I would tell you to go kill yourself, but we can't leave the kids without a mom if the dad isn't around). I have seen women buy really nice cars and keep themselves groomed really nice, while there children walk around looking homeless. It's really trifling if you ask me.So basically, in the stroy that I heard, the woman was supposed to be using the EXTRA money that she was getting from her childs father to help pay tuition for her oldest child. To make a long story short, the daughter had to take out a few loans because her tuition wasn't being paid. Meanwhile, momma is driving around in a new SUV (Infinity Truck I believe it was).

I know some of you will read this post and say, "But what about the fathers that don't pay child support?" To that I say, Two wrongs don't make a right. Everybody knows that there are deadbeat dads out her who don't give a damn about their kids (If you refer back to my "Give Him A Chance" post, you will see how I feel about them) but that doesn't give women the right to punish the men who do care about their kids. Plus these women only end up hurting the children in the long run. You might not care about this post. You might not agree either, but "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling At The Time"

Day Dreamin'

They say a picture's worth a thousand words
But as I stare at this photo I become mute
No sentence can accurately articulate how I'm feeling at this moment
This zone I'm in has cut me off from the outside world
Sound has disappeared and apparently time has stopped
No glance from the image that has transferred me from one thought to the next
Fingers snap in front of my face to try and break this trance that I'm in
Those attempts go ignored
Ignored because they were noticed, but the trance could not be broken
When I finally come to, I realize that my day dream took a lil over 3 minutes
And the snaps of a finger I was ignoring, was of someone deserving of my attention
But sadly that attention was divided
It may always be divided
The division between my reality and day dreams may not be tolerated for long
So as I buy/by my time, I do so with the knowledge that I may be cursed
They say a picture's worth a thousand words
So why won't the words come out?

Ready To Go...Go

Sittin' here with stuff on my brain has me in search of an outlet
You've turned my SUBTLE THOUGHTS into harsh scenes
These RAW IMAGEs set my mind ablaze with the possibilities of the unforeseen
Are these images considered to be CRUEL INTENTIONS?
Not sure, it would depend on who you ask
Don't ask me though, because my mind is like a JUNKYARD
I tried to clean it up, but my efforts have been futile
Even with this fact I've always considered myself a GOODFELLA
But am I? I think I am
I'll have to open that up for discussion as well
I must admit that it's your RARE ESSENCE that sets you apart from all that I see around me
And that has me hoping for an UNCALLED FOR EXPERIENCE
One where I would let you take TOTAL CONTROL
Would love to pore honey all over your body
But I'm broke so we have to hit the carryout and settle for some MAMBO SAUCE (lol)
I might have to wait to see your REACTION before I try something like that though
I can LISTEN to N E GROOVER on the block and they can tell me what my approach should be
But I have to say the verbalization of these thoughts has my heart in a CRITICAL CONDITION
Well F*ck it, Mama said have no fear, plus I'm already out of my chair
So I ask her "Are you 'Ready To GO...GO'"

I hope that you all see the theme. I put the key words in all caps so it shouldn't be that hard if you are from the Washington, D.C. area. And even if you aren't there have been a few people who have still been able to see it. Leave me as comment and tell me how you feel about it.

African American?...Wait! Did You Just Call Me N&*%$*?

I had this big write up about "My Thoughts" on why I don't necessarily prefer to be addressed by the term African American, but in talking to a friend, I was referred to a poem that has encompassed the same feelings that I have about the matter. So I would like to share it with and you can comment on what you think about it.

The Black American Poem

By Smokey Robinson

I love being Black. I love being called Black. I love being an American.

I love being a Black American, but as a Black man in this country I think it’s a shame that every few years we get a change of name.

Since those first ships arrived here from Africa that came across the sea there were already Black men in this country who were free.

And as for those that came over here on those terrible boats, they were called niggah and slave and told what to do and how to behave.

And then master started trippin’ and doing his midnight tippin’, down to the slave shacks where he forced he and Great-Great Grandma to be together, and if Great-Great Grandpa protested, he got tarred and feathered.

And at the same time, the Black men in the country who were free, were mating with the tribes like the Apache and the Cherokee.

And as a result of all that, we’re a parade of every shade.

And as in this late day and age, you can be sure, they ain’t too many of us in this country whose bloodline is pure.

But, according to a geological, geographical, genealogy study published in Time Magazine, the Black African people were the first on the scene, so for what it’s worth, the Black African people were the first on earth and through migration, our characteristics started to change, and rearrange, to adapt to whatever climate we migrated to.

And that’s how I became me, and you became you.

So, if we gonna go back, let’s go all the way back, and if Adam was Black and Eve was Black, then that kind of makes it a natural fact that everybody in America is an African American.

Everybody in Europe is an African European; everybody in the Orient is an African Asian and so on and so on, that is, if the origin of man is what we’re gonna go on.

And if one drop of Black blood makes you Black like they say, then everybody’s Black anyway.

So quit trying to change my identity.

I’m already who I was meant to be I’m a Black American, born and raised.

And brother James Brown wrote a wonderful phrase, “Say it loud, I’m Black and I’m proud! Say it loud, I’m Black and I’m proud!”

Cause I’m proud to be Black and I ain’t never lived in Africa, and ’cause my Great-Great Granddaddy on my Daddy’s side did, don’t mean I want to go back.

Now I have nothing against Africa, it’s where some of the most beautiful places and people in the world are found.

But I’ve been blessed to go a lot of places in this world, and if you ask me where I choose to live, I pick America, hands down.

Now, by and by, we were called Negroes, and after while, that name has vanished.

Anyway, Negro is just how you say ‘black’ in Spanish.

Then, we were called colored, but shit, everybody’s one color or another, and I think it’s a shame that we hold that against each other.

And it seems like we reverted back to a time when being called Black was an insult, even if it was another Black man who said it, a fight would result, cause we’ve been so brainwashed that Black was wrong, So that even the yellow niggahs and black niggahs couldn’t get along.

But then, came the 1960s when we struggled and died to be called equal and Black, and we walked with pride with our heads held high and our shoulders pushed back, and Black was beautiful.

But, I guess that wasn’t good enough, cause now here they come with some other stuff.

Who comes up with this shit anyway?

Was it one, or a group of niggahs sitting around one day?

Feelin’ a little insecure again about being called Black and decided that African American sounded a little more exotic.

Well, I think you were being a little more neurotic.

It’s that same mentality that got “Amos and Andy” put off the air, cause they were embarrassed about the way the character’s spoke.

And as a result of that action, a lot of wonderful Black actors ended up broke.

When we were just laughin’ and have fun about ourselves.

So I say, “fuck you if you can’t take a joke.”

You didn’t see the “Beverly Hillbilly’s” being protested by white folks.

And if you think, that cause you think that being called African American set all Black people’s mind at ease…

Since we affectionately call each other “niggah”, I affectionately say to you, “niggah Please”.

How come I didn’t get the chance to vote on who I’d like to be?

Who gave you the right to make that decision for me?

I ain’t under your rule or in your dominion And I am entitled to my own opinion.

Now there are some African Americans here, but they recently moved here from places like Kenya, Ethiopia, Zambia, Zimbabwe, and Zaire.

But, not the brother who’s family has lived in the country for generations, occupying space in all the locations New York, Miami, L.A., Detroit, Chicago… Even if he’s wearing a dashiki and sporting an afro.

And, if you go to Africa in search of your race, you’ll find out quick you’re not an African American, You’re just a Black American in Africa takin’ up space.

Why you keep trying to attach yourself to a continent, where if you got the chance and you went, most people there wouldn't even claim you as one of them; as a pure bread daughter or son of them.

Your heritage is right here now, no matter what you call yourself or what you say And a lot of people died to make it that way.

And if you think America is a leader on inequality and suffering and grievin’, how come there so many people comin’ and so few leavin’?

Rather than all this ‘find fault with America’ fuck you promotin’, if you want to change something, use your privilege, get to the polls!

Commence to votin’!

God knows we’ve earned the right to be called American Americans and be free at last.

And rather than you movin’ forward progress, you dwelling in the past.

We’ve struggled too long; we’ve come too far.

Instead of focusing on who we were, let’s be proud of who we are.

We are the only people whose name is always a trend.

When is this shit gonna end?

Look at all the different colors of our skin…

Black is not our color. It’s our core.

It’s what we been livin’ and fightin’ and dyin’ for.

But if you choose to be called African American and that’s your preference, then I ‘ll give you that reference.

But I know on this issue I don’t stand alone on my own and if I do, then let me be me.

And I’d appreciate it if when you see me, you’d say, “there goes a man who says it loud I’m Black. I’m Black. I’m a Black American, and I’m proud”.

Cause I love being an American. And I love being Black. I love being called Black.

Yeah, I said it, and I don’t take it back.

I'm Going Going, Back Back To...Africa?

It's been a few days since I was able to think of a subject worthy of writing about. So I would apologize, but it really takes a lot for me to concentrate enough to write on this blog. I would like to thank Kia and Krystal for their heated disagreement (I think they almost came to blows lol) that has had "My Thoughts" for the past few days.

Growing up, I constantly heard people talking about going back to the "Motherland". (As if they had been before lol) I always wondered what the fascination of a journey to Africa was about. I mean, we are considered "African American", but what would the journey actually satisfy for them?

Fast Forward to now. I still don't understand SOME peoples reasoning for wanting to go back to Africa. (it seems that I have to put SOME WORDS in ALL CAPITALS so I'm not MISQUOTED) I feel like, if you've been tracing your heritage, and you've been studying your culture, and you've found that there is a direct link to Africa, then sure, go ahead and take the voyage. But if you're like most people, who blurt out that you want to go back to Africa, without any type of information of your past, then you're just saying it because it sounds good. Or maybe you do want to go, but what is your basis? I'm going to just say, I have NO desire to go to Africa. Not trying to be insensitive, but I haven't taken the time to track my heritage and I feel if I pretended like I wanted to go to Africa, the decision would be made off ignorance and hypocrisy. I don't even consider myself "African American". (No I'm not Tiger Woods lol but I have a fresh post coming up about that topic so stay tuned)

I would like to know what you think about this topic though, so please leave me a comment on the matter. And whether your comment is shares my view or is the total opposite, "It's Just My Thoughts, Just What I Was Feeling at the Time"